


To Be with You

by fandommatchmaker19, madnephelite



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-01-14 16:32:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18480070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandommatchmaker19/pseuds/fandommatchmaker19, https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnephelite/pseuds/madnephelite
Summary: After attending the peer support group, things change between Chief Ripley and Vic. But, Vic is with Mayhorn and things get a little complicated. But, Lucas can't keep his feelings for her hidden for too long and maybe Vic feels the same?





	1. Peer Support Group and Coffee

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks, M, for coming on board my idea and for all the help! Enjoy!  
> xx

Despite their earlier argument about going to support group, Vic arrives a few minutes after it had started to find Travis already there, an empty seat beside him, clearly meant for her.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” she greets her best friend and Travis just smiles at her. 

“Hey,” he replies. 

“How’s the sharing?” she asks as she sits down beside him. Vic’s honestly glad Travis came and she’s glad the two of them are okay now.

“Well, there’s a lot of it,” Travis says with a chuckle and Vic lets out a soft laugh of her own and it feels good, for once, to be laughing with her best friend again. She looks up as the next person gets up and is surprised to find that it’s none other than Fire Chief Ripley. Travis shares the same look. 

He looks different, though, and his whole demeanor is changed. He’s wearing jeans and a nice, grey sweater that clings nicely to his probably toned muscles. [Vic is well aware that even the Chief works out a lot].

“Uh, I’ll introduce myself for those of you joining us for the first time,” he begins, smiling pleasantly at all of them, briefly glancing at her and Travis. Vic sucks in a deep breath and Travis gives her a sideways glance, but doesn’t comment on it. 

“I’m Lucas,” Ripley continues and Vic’s a little surprised, but she soon realizes his name fits. “And, I’ve been with Seattle FD for a little over 15 years now,” he says, his voice laced with hints of the accent Vic had heard earlier at the hospital, but never been able to place. “I’ve seen a lot, been through a lot, but an incident I experienced a couple of months ago, it’s…” he pauses, closing his eyes briefly before continuing, “it’s sticking with me.”

It doesn’t take long for her to realize Ripley- Lucas is talking about the skyscraper and Vic feels immediately guilty as she remembers yelling at him. She knows that PTSD happens to firefighters, hell, she’d experienced it first-hand after the blue fire, but she’d never thought that Chief Ripley struggled with it. She’d never thought that the invincible Chief Ripley struggled after making decisions he was always so sure of. And, what’s worse is that she’d accused him of not caring. 

“Most of you were at the skyscraper downtown. It was… I mean that was a beast, right?” Ripley says, his voice less steady than before as continues, chuckling nervously. For a brief moment, Vic thinks he might stop, but he doesn’t. “When I close my eyes, I can- I can still smell the smoke. I can hear the sound of that explosion. I am…” he trails off, closing his eyes briefly and Vic notices Travis rubbing his thumb along his scar from the surgery Dr. Pierce performed to save his life. Vic smiles softly at her best friend, and squeezes his hand. “I am haunted by it, by… by that night, by the choices I had to make. That’s why this place is so important to me. It’s why each of you are so important to me. Because we understand each other. Because w- we need each other. Cause this job makes us more than colleagues, more than friends… we’re family,” Ripley finishes, smiling gently. The room explodes with applause as everyone looks appreciatively at Ripley. 

And, when it’s done and everyone mingles with coffee and cookies, she goes to him. 

“Chief!” she greets him, approaching him. “Hi!”

“Hey,” he greets her, smiling. “Spotted you sitting in the back with Montgomery. Glad he’s recovered,” he says and Vic stuffs her hand in her pocket nervously. Ripley smiles at her. 

“I, uh… I wanted to apologize, uh, for the way I spoke to you the night of the skyscraper,” she finally says. He’s looking at her in a really open and honest way and Vic’s a little struck by how blue his eyes are. “If I… if I was part of making that incident harder on you, I’m… um, I’m sorry,” she says, giving Ripley a soft smile. She knows she may not have had a lot to do with Ripley experiencing some PTSD from the skyscraper, but she’d hate it if she did and didn’t apologize. 

“I appreciate that, Hughes,” Ripley replies kindly. “I understood where you were coming from,” he says, smiling at her. [Vic doesn’t think she’d ever seen someone smile with their eyes so much, but with Ripley it’s different. Effortless].

“I didn’t exactly understand the same for you,” Vic says, blushing. Then, she continues, “anyways, um, you know, I really… I really expected to hate being here today, but I uh actually really liked what you had to say,” she says, stumbling slightly over her words, trying to smile brightly at him. Ripley chuckles, and Vic had never seen him be so carefree, but she likes seeing this side of him. 

“Thank you, I think,” he replies, a little bit flustered. Vic immediately feels as if she should explain herself because not everyone gets her when she starts rambling like this. 

“Oh no! No, I’m sorry! I mean-  I mean about what you said. It was depressing, but in a good way!” Vic tries, hoping to diffuse the tension and make herself clear. Instead they both chuckle nervously, flustered and blushing. 

“Okay,” Ripley- Lucas says, probably to make her feel better. 

“No!” Vic blurts out. “God, no, sorry, sorry,” she says, but Ripley just continues to smile with his eyes, chuckling slightly. “I mean you were great.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That was, uh, that was all.”  _ I sound like an idiot _ , she thinks, but Ripley doesn’t look at her like that. He’s just smiling kindly and his eyes are sparkling slightly, and Vic continues. “What you said, what you shared, was great,” she finishes, smiling brightly at him. 

“Well, uh,” Ripley starts to reply nervously, an accent – Australian, maybe – peeking slightly through, “maybe you should get up and share a little, too, next week. I’m sure your experience would help a lot of firefighters,” he says kindly and Vic blushes. 

“Yeah, I don’t know,” she says, blushing because she never liked sharing, especially in front of so many people, but Ripley’s smile is gentle, encouraging. So, Vic, decides to give a vague answer, “maybe.” They both chuckle nervously. 

“I hope I’ll see you,” he says, smiling. 

“Well, um, have a great rest of your night, Chief,” she says, smiling brightly at him. She’s about to walk away when she freezes, closes her eyes for a second, chanting the first few verses of the Teapot Song in her head, and turns around, gathering some of her courage. “How can you drink that coffee?” she blurts and he seems a little taken aback, but recovers quickly. 

“Excuse me?” he asks, though not harshly, if a little surprised. 

“The coffee. How can you drink it?”

“I’m used to it I guess?” he says, though it sounds more like a question. Vic shakes her head, laughing. 

“Well, that’s just sad, Chief,” she says, beaming. “There’s a place around the corner. A little secluded, but they have really good coffee. And, baked goods,” she bites her lip. 

“Well, I can’t really say no to coffee and baked goods,” he says and she raises an eyebrow. “Let’s go, Hughes,” he says, following her out. 

As they near the place, their hands almost brushing, Vic breaks the comfortable silence that had settled between them. “You know, since we’re going for coffee, you should call me Vic. It’s short for Victoria,” she says as he holds the door open for her to enter first. 

“Sure,” he says softly. “Call me, Lucas, please. Nobody does these days,” his gaze drifts lazily over the selection of baked goods. 

“Now that you’re the boss?” she asks softly. He hums in agreement. It’s their turn and Vic orders a medium cappuccino with extra cinnamon along with a slice of cheesecake.  She’s about to pay, when Lucas stops her. 

“I’ll have a cappuccino and a slice of chocolate cake, thanks,” he tacks on before paying for both of them. They sit at a table in a corner in the back, hidden away from prying eyes. 

“Thanks,” she says when the waiter brings them the drinks. “You didn’t have to-”

“Don’t worry about it, Vic,” he shakes her off. 

“I don’t eat desert all that often, but well, I love the cheesecakes here,” she says, smiling at him, almost blushing.  He shakes his head as he eats another forkful of chocolate cake. 

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t usually eat cake, either, but well, this chocolate cake is great. Thanks for introducing me!” he chuckles nervously. 

“No problem. Better than what you were trying to drink at the peer support group,” she says. 

“I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t expect you to be there,” he says after a few minutes of pleasant silence. 

“Yeah, I, uh, didn’t expect to be there myself,” she says, looking down at her mug. 

“You wanna talk about it?” he asks, leaning forward a bit. [His voice is so kind and his expression is so open, Vic feels compelled to do so]. 

“Travis is my best friend. Montgomery. But, I, uh, after the skyscraper things changed between us. I, he…” she trails off, nervously. He smiles kindly at her. 

“Go ahead. We’re off duty,” he gestures between them, motioning for her to go on. Vic bites her lip and takes a deep breath. 

“He just… he just told Warren to leave him,” she exhales, and looks up to meet his gaze. “He was bleeding out when I found him- he would’ve bled to death if I hadn’t, and I just. I was really mad at him,” she looks down sadly. [Vic feels a little bit childish for saying the last part]. Lucas doesn’t seem to mind. 

“I get the feeling,” he says instead. “This job…” he hesitates, takes another sip of his coffee. “This job gives us a lot. Friends. Best friends, even. A family. But, it can sometimes take that away and it’s hard. But, outside this job, well, some of us have nothing,” he looks down, suddenly finding his cup oh so interesting. Vic nods, then lets out a nervous chuckle. Lucas chuckles, too, and then they’re both laughing. “Sorry, sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “That was too depressing,” he says, forcing that pleasant smile of his, though it doesn’t look, well, he’s not very successful. [Vic thinks there’s a personal story in there, and normally she would pry, but she doesn’t want to pry and well, Lucas seems kind of sad, and part of her wants to comfort him]. Instead, she changes the subject. 

“I think Sullivan and Andy are going to burn the station down,” she says instead and Lucas chuckles before realizing she’s being serious. 

“How so?” he asks, leaning forward again.

“She’s really mad he’s captain, but also because he has some methods that work and, well, she’s stubborn, y’know?” she says and bites her lip, feels she’s said too much to him about her friends, her family. [He is still the boss]. 

“Sullivan is…” he trails off, a thoughtful expression on his face. 

“He’s not really warm and doesn’t share much like the rest of us,” she fills in for him and he nods. [She’d call him a hardass, but isn’t sure she should do that in front of Lucas]. 

“He’ll come around,” Lucas says instead, but he doesn’t seem too sure about that. 

Vic smiles and checks her watch, noticing it was getting late. Her phone buzzes in her pocket and she takes it out with a muttered apology, “sorry,” before seeing it’s a message from Mayhorn - David - asking her if she wants to grab some dinner. She types a quick reply,  _ Yeah, sure. Burgers sound good.  _ Then, she looks back at Lucas. 

“Well, it’s getting late,” she finishes her coffee and he stands up along with her. “I should head home. This was… this was really nice, Ch- Lucas,” she says and he smiles at her. 

“Yeah, it was. Better than the coffee at the support group. Thanks for introducing me, Vic, and for joining me,” he says, his expression open and delighted, lips curling into a genuine smile. He walks her to the door. 

“Yeah, I enjoyed this. It was nice. Talking to you outside of work… you’re really different outside of work. Funnier, you wear nice sweaters- I’m sorry, that was too...” she rambles before cutting herself off, looking down in embarrassment. 

“No, no, don’t worry about it. Glad somebody likes my sweaters. Jennifer hates them,” he laughs, this time more carefree and she laughs along with him. 

“Jennifer? Is that your girlfriend?” Vic blushes and feels stupid for asking. This is really none of her business.

“Oh no, Jennifer is my sister. I don’t have a girlfriend.” he is blushing too and Vic sighs in relief. She doesn’t really understand why it makes her glad that he doesn’t have a girlfriend but it does.

“Can we be friends?” she blurts before she can talk herself out of it. He seems a bit surprised, but recovers quickly, smiling with his eyes again, and Vic can feel a swarm of butterflies in her stomach. 

“Of course,” he says, as if it were obvious. Vic beams. 

“So, friends?”

“Yes, friends,” he says just as her phone buzzes again. It’s probably Mayhorn - David - about dinner. It occurs to Vic she should change her boyfriend’s - is he really? - contact on her phone. 

“Um, I should really- I should really go. I’m… um… I’m meeting someone…” she trails off, and feels childish for hiding the fact that she has a sort of date with the guy she’d been sleeping with for the past few days. Not, that it was unusual or anything, and well, she and David hadn’t really had that conversation. [Vic thinks she should ask Travis about it].

“Yeah, of course, go ahead,” he says, and Vic thinks it’s wishful thinking that he sounds kind of sad about it. 

“Yeah…”

“Guess I’ll see you,” he says kindly as they’re about to part ways. 

“Yup, see you later, Lucas!” she says and she doesn’t know what makes her do it but she leans in to give him a peck on the cheek as he tries to shake her hand and she feels like she wants to die.

“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s - That’s how I usually say goodbye to my friends and I wasn’t thinking and this is so awkward and I’m really sorry, Chief,” she rambles on and he looks amused and chuckles.

“Don’t worry about it, Vic. And it’s still Lucas. Have a good night.” he says before leaning in to kiss her cheek, his stubble tickling her soft skin. Vic doesn’t even realize that she is holding her breath. She watches him walk away and softly exhales. One of her hand touches the spot that he just kissed and all she can think is that she is screwed.

She quickly pulls herself together and then walks towards the burger place she’d agreed to meet Mayhorn at. It’s a little far and Vic realizes she should go get her car. The Chief’s car is gone from the parking spot it was in when Vic returns, and she feels a bit sad about that, but shakes it off. It doesn’t take her long to arrive and David is probably already inside. That suspicion is confirmed when she checks her phone to find a new message from him.  _ Babe, already here. I’ll order drinks? xx  _ [Vic thinks it’s a bit weird they’d only slept together a couple times and he’s already calling her babe and she realizes she should bring up whatever they were doing some time soon]. She hesitates in front of the small diner, part of her wanting to turn around and go home. 

“Vic?” she hears someone - Lucas - call behind her and she turns around immediately. 

“Ch- Lucas! Hi! What are you- what are doing here?” she asks before noticing the small take out bag from the same place she was about to go into. 

“I was just getting some takeaway burgers,” he shrugs. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m um, I’m meeting someone here,” she says nervously. 

“Your boyfriend?” he asks and Vic bites her lip. “A friend?”

“I don’t know,” she says. “He’s…” she trails off. 

“Oh. So is he more of a friend or more of a boyfriend?” Lucas asks, and Vic thinks he seems amused. 

“I guess he’s more of a boyfriend, but I’m not sure… I don’t- I don’t know,” she shrugs. 

“Well, maybe you should go inside and find out?” he suggests good naturedly. 

“Yeah, maybe,” she says vaguely. 

“I hope it works out well. You deserve a nice… err, boyfriend, Vic,” he says, eyes a little bit downcast, a small frown on his face. Vic nods. 

“It was nice seeing you again, Lucas,” she says, beaming, and this time she grasps his hand in hers. They both chuckle, a little bit embarrassed remembering their earlier goodbye. Lucas turns around and walks away, and Vic takes a deep breath and opens the door of the diner, spotting David already sitting at a small table in the back. He kisses her as soon as she sits down, hands drifting down her back. Vic tries to enjoy the kiss, but she’s not really into it, and pulls away abruptly. 

“Sorry, David. Just hungry. Did you order?” she asks and he nods. Food arrives a few minutes later, and David goes on and on about a rescue he did earlier in the day. Vic half listense, but mostly she’s thinking about Lucas and how blue and expressive his eyes are, how good he smelled and how good of a listener he was. 

“Vic? Vic?” David touches her arm and Vic snaps out of her reverie. 

“Huh? What? Sorry,” she says vaguely. “What were you saying?” 

“I was asking if you had any interesting calls today,” he says. 

“Structure fire,” she says and delves into a detailed account of the call they had earlier while munching on her fries. David insists on paying and Vic insists on splitting the bill and they argue half heartedly about it for a few seconds before they end up splitting the bill. They chat some more as they walk to Vic’s car. David’s clearly trying to suggest things becoming more between them, but Vic isn’t focused on that at all. He instigates a kiss in the car, and Vic responds automatically before telling him she just wants to go back to hers. [He can come if he wants]. David blabbers on about 23’s lieutenant of the month on the way home and Vic rolls her eyes, her mind going back to the peer reviews before circling back to Lucas yet again. 

David trails behind her up to her apartment and follows her to her bedroom, still talking. Vic turns, places her hands on his shoulders, lips curling into a smirk. 

“I really don’t want to talk right now,” she says huskily before leaning in to kiss him. David’s arms wrap around her waist, squeezing at her ass as he pulls her closer to him. 

Vic thinks she’s really good at using sex as a distraction, but tonight she’s distracted by someone else. 


	2. Sundaes and Comfort

Vic is having a crappy day. One bad call after another. Another round of Sullivan and Andy fighting and just making work uncomfortable and less fun for everyone. And then there is Lucas who she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about since their coffee date. Vic wonders if he has been thinking about her too. She thinks that there was a moment but maybe it was just her and he only saw a subordinate and nothing more. Some young girl trying to impress the Chief.

She is at the grocery store getting a few things, not paying attention to her surroundings when she bumps into someone. It startles her and she drops her shopping basket. When she looks up she is face to face with the Fire Chief himself. His gorgeous blue eyes staring into her brown ones. His smile is warm and Vic can feel those butterflies again.

“Chi-Lucas, hi!“ she smiles at him.

“Hello, Vic!” he greets back.

They both bend down to pick up the basket and its content and as Vic looks down, she wishes the ground would open up and swallow her whole because there are condoms, whipped cream and chocolate sauce and she can feel her cheeks burning as Lucas looks at her curiously.

“It’s not what you think.” she tells him and he smirks.

“What is it that you think that I think?” he asks amused.

“Um, that -- that I’m into some kinda kinky sex thing that involves whipped cream and chocolate sauce being lick...” Vic stops talking when she realizes what she was about to say and now he is blushing too.

“Are you?” he asks in a husky voice before shaking himself out of it. “Sorry, that was completely inappropriate of me to ask. I don’t know why I did. Please, accept my apology.” he offers and she nods.

“Sundaes...” she blurts out.

“Excuse me?” he looks confused.

“I was heading for the ice cream aisle. I wanted to make sundaes because it was that kind of a day. The condoms are just...” he stops her.

“You said you are seeing someone, so you don’t need to explain those.” [Vic wonders if it’s just wishful thinking on her part or if he really seems unhappy about that].

“How are you?” she wonders.

“I’m good. I would actually like to hear more about those sundaes. Are we talking about the full shebang with sprinkles, marshmallows, nuts and stuff?” he asks and she raises an eyebrow.

“I didn’t peg you for a sundaes kinda guy but yeah I was thinking about the full shebang. I mean if you want some, my place is not far from here,” she offers.

“If I want some?” he smirks and she can feel her cheeks flush again. What is it with him turning her into a babbling mess?

“I meant ice cream. Not the other thing, of course. I mean that would be wrong.” He makes a face. “I mean -- I don’t mean that there is anything wrong about doing it with you, just I -- I wasn’t inviting you to my place to do that. I -- I think I should stop talking now.” Vic is sure that her entire face is red and he is just looking at her amused but also in a way that she can’t quite describe. She thinks it could be in an adoring way but she won’t allow her mind to go there.

“You certainly make up for the lousy day that I had today and I would love to take you up on your offer for ice cream,” he says and takes her shopping basket. They get a few more things before paying and then they are heading towards her place. The walk to her place is quick and comfortable, neither of them really saying anything mostly because Vic’s trying not to be a rambling mess, and mostly because Lucas doesn’t seem like the very talkative type. 

Vic feels a tiny bit apprehensive when she unlocks her tiny apartment, ushering the Chief of SFD in, but Lucas doesn’t seem the least bit fazed. 

“Your place is nice,” he observes as he takes off his uniform jacket and boots, and hangs his bag by the door. 

“Thanks,” she manages to say as she leads the way into her kitchen. “Make yourself comfortable,” she says not realizing until he pulls a chair out that one of David’s crew shirts was lying on the floor. 

“Oh, sorry, is this yours?” he asks and Vic immediately freezes because the number on the t-shirt is most definitely not 19. “Oh, no! Nope, that’s not mine. It’s my… um, well, my sort of boyfriend’s,” she blurts out before she realizes who Lucas is. She opens her mouth to say something more, then closes it. Lucas raises an eyebrow. 

“Oh?” he says, his expression a mixture of surprise and amusement. [He seems mostly surprised, though]. 

“Yeah…” Vic trails off, biting her lip. 

“Don’t you have a rule about not dating firefighters?” he asks as he pushes up the sleeves of his shirt while Vic grabs the discarded item of clothing. 

“Um, he’s not… he’s not from nineteen,” she says, matter-of-factly, shrugging as she walks over to the bedroom and throws it the hamper. “And, well, not really. I don’t have a rule like that, but it’d be okay if you did. I mean, not that you can’t if you want to-” she cuts herself off, blushing furiously, and begins scooping out ice cream. Lucas chuckles, amused. 

“I do. Have a rule, I mean. Well, it’s more of a policy because of who I am. The Chief. The boss,” he says drily. 

“Oh… right,” she mutters, trying not to show how much that upsets her. [It shouldn’t. It really shouldn’t upset her because she has a sort of boyfriend and he’s the Chief and everything, but it does]. 

“What if -- What if there was someone that you liked or felt a connection with? Would you just ignore that because of your job and who you are?” Vic asks and waits for his answer, trying not to look too hopeful.

“Well, I mean we would have to go through proper channels and it would be complicated and probably messy but I guess if it was someone I could see myself with long term, it would be worth it.” He smiles and takes the spoon that she is offering. Their fingers touch for just a second but it’s enough for her to feel the electricity going through her body and when she looks at him she can tell that he felt it too.

“I’ll take it you haven’t found that someone yet.”

“I’ve been kind of married to my job for the past… well forever really which resulted in my marriages imploding.” 

“Marriages as in plural,” she wonders.

“I’m not proud to admit that I have been divorced twice. Sometimes I think I should have put more effort into it. Maybe one of them would have worked out but at the end of the day they didn’t really understand how important this job was.”

“Well, you know what they say, third time’s a charm,” she winks at him and he chuckles. “And maybe with our line of work it’s actually a good thing to date within the department. We understand what it’s like. We understand the risks and why it matters so much to do this job.” she smiles at him as she reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze. 

“If you know anyone willing to date the boss, send her my way,” he jokes and Vic’s mind screams “Me!”.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she smiles but there is no way in hell she will be sending anyone his way.  

“Mm, this is delicious, Vic,” he says after a spoonful of ice cream. Vic beams. “So, what prompted this?” he asks, gesturing to the desert in their bowls. Vic hesitates. “Bad shift?” he guesses and Vic finally tears her gaze away from her sundae to meet his kind, expressive blue eyes. 

“Yeah,” she says and frowns a little before taking another spoonful herself. 

“You wanna talk about it?” he tries. 

“It was just… a lot of bad calls,” she shrugs. “I was on Aid Car,” she explains. “Which is both a good and a bad thing. It was good because it kept me busy,” she pauses, looking up at Lucas before biting her lip. “But the calls… the calls were bad. I- Travis was with me, and we- we lost quite a few patients,” she says sadly. Lucas nods in understanding. “And, well, things are still a bit awkward with Travis, but we’re you know, we’re patching things up,” she sighs. 

“That’s good. That you’re patching things up. Sometimes, it’s really difficult to do that, you know?” he says sadly. “Some things aren’t easily forgiven…” There’s a pregnant pause and Vic notices that sad look in his eyes yet again. “What about the calls? Do you want to talk about them? It helps to talk about the bad calls,” he smiles kindly at her and Vic nods. 

“We- there was this one call from a teenager who couldn’t-” Vic pauses, inhales sharply and takes another spoonful of desert before continuing, “- when we got there, we had to force the door to the bathroom. We found this teenager’s sister drowned in the bathtub,” she says, and her voice breaks slightly. “We tried- we tried everything. I think we performed CPR for… it must have been a full forty-five minutes, and my arms hurt so much, but we had to- we had to pronounce her dead because we never got rhythm,” she wipes away a stray tear as Lucas scoots closer to her. 

“I am so sorry, Vic. Those are some of the hardest calls,” he says softly, and reaches out to squeeze her hand gently. 

“And, then, we were called to the scene of this accident and- everyone died. It was a family of five. Mom, dad, three kids and a drunk driver just- just hit them and they…” she trails off and tries to even out her breathing as Lucas rubs his thumb over her knuckles gently. 

“It’s okay, Vic, take your time,” he says softly, full of understanding. She nods, tries to flash him a smile, but doesn’t quite succeed. 

“We tried- we called for another station because we needed more aid cars and… one of the kids- it looked like they might survive. But, on the way there, that little girl went into cardiac arrest and we just couldn’t bring her back. And, it just really sucked because it took a while to- for the other aid cars to arrive and for us to be on our way to Grey Sloan and I just kept thinking that maybe we should’ve put the little girl on the first rig and taken her to the hospital first,” she says sadly. [It isn’t lost on either of them that she’s blaming the other stations for being late, but Vic knows he can’t control everything]. 

“I’m really sorry, Vic. I’m- I know you blamed me during the peer interview for Herrera and Gibson, but you have to know that it’s very hard to- I try to push the rest of the department to do better. I do. But, it’s not always easy,” he says and Vic thinks she almost hears guilt in his voice. 

“It’s okay, I wasn’t blaming you, this time. They weren’t- I don’t know if it would have helped anything. Mom died on impact. One kid died right after we got there. Dad was in critical condition and we rushed him to the hospital first, but he arrested on the way and the hospital couldn’t do anything. Another kid had internal injuries and just collapsed at one point and- we tried everything, but we just couldn’t, and they all… they all died,” she wipes at her cheeks, then looks up to meet Lucas’ gaze again. “But, you know, there’s one silver lining,” she says softly and Lucas seems confused. “They all died together, you know? None of them would have to go through being alone or recovering alone,” she looks down again, frowning. 

“I guess you are right. I didn’t really think of it that way.”

Vic tells him about the apartment fire then, where they took two severely burned patients to Grey Sloan in critical condition. “I almost- we almost lost one of them on the rig,” she says. “We had to crike her and we performed CPR for twenty minutes before we finally got her back. It went on like that, you know? All these calls with patients dying or almost dying all shift and I just… I hate when that happens,” she sniffles a little and wipes a few more stray tears. 

“Yeah, sometimes it really does suck,” he says. “Sometimes we can’t save anyone and you keep- you keep thinking about what you could’ve done differently to save them. But, in the end, sometimes it doesn’t matter. Sometimes it just is what it is,” he sounds sad, and he has a faraway look in his eyes that makes Vic think he’s remembering something. 

“Yeah… Anyways, thanks for listening,” she says, trying to force the memories of the shift to the back of her mind. He smiles. 

“Sounds like the team did everything. How’s it going, by the way? With Sullivan?” he asks curiously, pushing away his already empty bowl of sundae. Vic picks both bowls up and dumps them into the sink before returning to the table. 

“Um, he’s… I don’t know… adjusting? There’s still tension,” she shrugs. “Which is kind of,” she pauses, trying to gather her thoughts before continuing, “uncomfortable. He and Herrera are constantly arguing and, well, it’s hard for the rest of us.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know there were problems,” he says, frowning. 

“Yeah, you know, Herrera’s still pissed she didn’t get the captain position and Sullivan prefers Bishop over her. She’s trying to be the best lieutenant, but, well, Sullivan doesn’t really listen to her ideas,” Vic sighs. 

Lucas sighs and rubs his beard. 

“I- I’m not sure I should be saying anything about it. To you. Not that I can’t trust you, but that’s work and we’re not really at work right now. Herrera was- I wanted to promote her to captain of Nineteen, but she’s not ready. The skyscraper showed that. She has great potential and she could be captain one day, a great one, but not yet. And, Bishop needed more pushing. She’s been Herrera’s cheerleader for a while, and when I briefed Sullivan about 19, I told him to push her more because I think she could make a great leader someday,” Lucas pauses. “I should, uh, I’ve said too much about people you work with. Sorry. But, Sullivan’s not a bad person and he’s not a bad captain. He’s just… just don’t be too hard on him. It may take a while for you guys to get to know him, but he’ll always take care of you and protect you,” Lucas forces a smile, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

It’s quiet for a few minutes

“Let’s not talk about work,” Vic quips, smiling at him. “Let’s uh… let’s talk about desert,” she says and he chuckles. 

Vic’s phone buzzes, she quickly grabs it and types something before returning her attention to Lucas.

“Should I leave?” he wonders.

“No, I told my, um, friend that I’m not in the mood for company.” Lucas raises an eyebrow. “Not in the mood for his company, I mean. Unless you want to leave. If you have to be somewhere else, you don’t have to stay.” There’s a pregnant pause and Vic looks up to meet his gaze. Lucas smiles at her. 

“I don’t have anywhere else to be,” he says and Vic smiles in return. [She’s trying really hard not to seem too happy about it, but she can’t help it].

“Do you want to watch something?” she asks, leading him towards the living room without really waiting for an answer. 

“I don’t really mind,” he says and they settle on her couch at a respectful, friendly distance. Vic settles on an action show that’s showing and glances over to Lucas. “This is fine, Vic, I don’t mind,” he says softly. 

Vic would be lying if she said she was watching the show. Instead, she’s well aware of the distance between herself and Lucas, which seems to be getting smaller and smaller and she can feel his warmth and the electricity pulsing between them. 

Vic doesn’t fall asleep, but Lucas does, because when she turns to glance over at him after a while, she finds him fast asleep. Her watch tells her it’s almost 2100 and Vic thinks Lucas might have to go home and she might have to go to sleep despite how much she would like to wake up next to him. She kicks herself, because there’s David, and Lucas probably doesn’t see her that way. [At least not in the long term way]. And, Vic may not be too fond of David, but she’s not a cheater, so she sits up. 

“Lucas? Lucas?” she says softly, shaking him gently. “Lucas,” she repeats, shaking him some more before he wakes up, his blue eyes drifting around the room, a little bit disoriented before they settle on her. “Hey,” she greets. 

“Hi, what… what time is it?” he asks, sitting up. 

“It’s almost 2100,” she answers. 

“It’s late. I should… I should go. Thanks for everything, Vic. You have no idea how much this helped today,” he says, standing up. Vic follows him to the door and meets his gaze. 

“Yeah, thanks for the company,” she tells him, beaming brightly at him. 

There’s that awkward, charged moment between them, until Lucas leans down and brushes his lips against her cheek in a chaste kiss. His beard scratches at her skin, but Vic doesn’t mind one bit. They smile at each other. 

“This was great,” she says brightly. “Thanks again for coming,” she repeats. 

“Thanks for having me. Have a great rest of your night, Vic,” he says, blue eyes gazing deeply into hers. 

“You, too, Lucas. Bye,” she says as he opens the door. 

“Bye,” he breathes out, and then he’s gone and Vic feels the swarm of butterflies in her stomach yet again and she knows that she is screwed.


	3. What Are Friends For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas comes to the station for the police training.

She’d spent her second day off with David, who was becoming increasingly attached to her and their routine that had only been interrupted by Vic cancelling plans the day before. And, even when she’d been with David, doing things that didn’t require getting out of bed, she’d been thinking of Lucas. [Vic wondered if it was wrong of her to be thinking of Lucas while being with David, but pushed the thought away].

She was glad when Travis asked her if she wanted to train in the morning, mostly because it gave her an excuse to avoid breakfast with David. [It wasn’t that she didn’t like him; she did, but he just wasn’t… well, wasn’t Lucas]. Travis told her about his attempt at spicing things up with Grant. Not that she agreed with his idea of spicing things up. [Vic was really glad they were friends again and could do this like they used to].

“So you were trying to spice things back up with a…” she pauses breathlessly as she and Travis toss the ball back and forth, before continuing, “... frittata,” she quips. Vic makes a face at her best friend before tossing the ball back at him. Travis catches it easily, rolling his eyes.

“Isn’t that the universal equation?” he retorts, tossing the ball back at her. Vic raises her eyebrows.

“Is it?” she asks as their back and forth continues.

“Breakfast plus bed equals sex in that bed, yeah,” Travis explains, looking only slightly offended that Vic wasn’t very thrilled by his idea of spicing things up. Vic just rolls her eyes.

“You know, in your house maybe,” she shrugs as they continue tossing the ball.

“Besides,” Travis says, throwing the ball at her, “there’s nothing to spice back up.” Vic raises her eyebrows, motioning for him to continue. “We were taking things slow, and then I got hurt,” he says, pausing before continuing, “and we kind of skipped spice,” he finishes, the words jumbled together. Vic can’t help but stare at him in shock.

“You skipped spice?” she bites out. “You can’t skip beginning-of-relationship spice. It’s the best of the spices!” she snaps. She lets out an annoyed sigh. She knew how hard the past year had been for Travis after Michael died, and she’d been trying to get him back in the game for a while. She’d thought him and Grant were really good for eachother, but she knew it wasn’t always smooth sailing. “Okay, see this is what happens when I’m out of your life for too long!” Travis throws his hands in the air with an eye roll, but Vic continues. “You do crazy things like not have hot, round-the-clock sex with your gorgeous boyfriend!” she exclaims. “It’s a c- it’s a crime,” she mock glares at him. “Stop it!”

“You stop it!” he retorts as they continue their back and forth ball tossing. Just as Vic is about to start talking about her Man Blanket, Sullivan comes in, clearly in a mood. Vic exchanges a concerned glance with Travis as Sullivan starts hitting the punching bag.

Travis motions for her drop the ball and follow him, so Vic decides to broach the subject as they’re getting ready for their shift.

“So, um, Trav?” she tries.

“Yeah, what’s up?” he answers casually.

“I need your advice. Your thoughts,” she blurts as they change out of their gym wear. They shower quickly before continuing their conversation while they get dressed in their uniforms.

“Yeah?” Travis asks softly, glancing over at her in concern.  

“So, you know how I’ve been seeing Mayhorn from 23? You know, Mr. Man Blanket?” Travis hums in agreement. “I don’t know what to do about him,” she wonders.

“What do you mean?”

“Should I keep seeing him? I mean, things are, I don’t know… weird. Forced. He keeps trying to take it to the next level, you know, relationship, but I just… I’m not ready. I don’t- I don’t think I’m into it,” she says quietly. Travis asks her to repeat, more loudly, urging her to take deep breaths.

“Oh wow. This isn’t the same Vic who told me she was sleeping with someone from 23, all excited about her Man Blanket. What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she hesitates, but she knows that she can’t tell Travis exactly why she’s been bored of David. “I just… got bored,” she finishes getting ready and they race to the Beanery.

“You got bored?” Travis furrows his brows. “Maybe you have to spice it up?” he teases, but Vic shakes her head.

“He’s more Man Blanket than Spice,” Vic mutters, almost joking, but half serious. “I don’t know. Who knows, maybe it’s just stupid,” she says, even though she doesn’t really believe that.

“Who needs spicing up?” Maya asks as they meet on the way to the Beanery.

“Vic-”

“Travis and Grant,” they blurt at the same time and are met with twin laughs from Andy and Maya.

“So, Man Blanket not that good?” Andy asks.

“Nope, nup, nothing! Man Blanket is totally great!” Vic quips, shaking her head. [He’s totally great, but he’s not Lucas].

“Word of advice, you might wanna give Sullivan a extra little space,” Travis says, changing the subject. “As in all the space. He’s in a mood.” Andy rolls her eyes.

“When isn’t he in a mood?” the lieutenant quips theatrically. Maya laughs. “Cranky’s kind of his baseline.”

“No, it’s worse than usual,” Vic pipes up. “Just ask the punching bag,” she starts bounding up the stairs to the Beanery, the rest of them following after her.

“I wonder what’s up,” Maya wonders and Andy flashes her a glare. Vic exchanges a look with Travis.

“Guys, quick!” Gibson says in a hushed whisper behind them, rushing into the Beanery. Curiously, they all follow after him. “Come on. Come on!” he urges.

“Why?”

“We only have a couple of seconds,” he says, and is met by four pairs of curious eyes.

“For what?” Maya asks.

“Throwing a party after shift for Dean. Our place. It’s his birthday,” Jack says quietly.

“Miller hates his birthday,” Andy observes, confused.

“I want to do something nice,” Jack protests. Vic just shakes her head.

“By throwing him that he won’t want at his own house?” Travis checks, confused. “Totally.”

“People who say they don’t like birthdays are the ones who usually actually want something special, right?” Jack asks, doubt creeping in his mind.

“That has not been my experience,” Travis says, completely deadpan.

Vic shakes her head. “Nope, okay. Nope, nope,” she says, walking over to the counter.

“What? Come on!” Jack tries. Vic shakes her head again.

“Actively unhearing this,” she says, grabbing a muffin.

“Why not?” Jack tries, sounding like a kicked puppy.

“No, really,” Vic says, looking at him, “I’m really sort of extremely terribly bad at secrets, so,” she purses her lips, shakes her head and grabs a muffin just as Dean enters the Beanery, prompting her to start eating it. Of course, Dean realizes that something’s up as soon as she doze that.

“Vic’s got a secret,” he says, standing right beside her.

“Uhuh,” Vic says, her mouth full. Dean steps closer to her.

“I give it about five minutes,” he pauses, cracking his neck. “Yeah…”

“Happy birthday, Miller!” she blurts, trying to swallow her muffin as Jack shakes his head, annoyed.

“What?”

“Jack’s throwing a surprise birthday to celebrate!” she spills as the rest of her team mock glares at her.

“Vic!” Jack yells, slightly annoyed.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” she apologizes immediately, though it’s clear Miller is more annoyed with Jack. [For the record, Vic had warned Jack she was bad at keeping secrets].

“Come on, man,” Miller says, annoyed. “Like I thought I was clear,” he groans as the others turn to face him. “Look, guys, I don’t want to make my birthday a thing, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” he says, more to Jack than to anyone else.

“Can we-” Jack is trying to stop the conversation from happening, and Vic soon realizes why. It seems that her body subconsciously reacts every time he’s around, and Vic soon glances in Jack’s direction to see Lucas - Chief Ripley - enter the Beanery.

“Miller!” he greets immediately.

“Yeah?” Lucas comes over to Miller, who is coincidentally standing right next to Vic, making Vic’s stomach swarm with butterflies.

“Happy birthday,” he says, shaking Miller’s hand. For once, Miller doesn’t object.

“Thank you, sir,” he says instead, graciously.

“Chief Ripley, hello,” Vic blurts, mouth still full and she immediately wants the earth to swallow her whole. But, Lucas just flashes her smile and she melts.

The last time she’d seen him had been two days ago, and that had been completely informal. Vic wasn’t sure she’d be able to see him at work now, not after everything that happened over the past week or so. It’s good that he’s standing on Miller’s side, so she can secretly admire him. He looks different than he’d looked two days ago, despite the fact that he’d been in uniform then, too. [His hair is less dishevelled though and Vic is pretty sure she prefers the dishevelled look more]. There’s a weariness in his eyes, a sadness even, something that hadn’t been there the last time she’d seen him. He’d been merely exhausted, if a little bit tense, then.

The entire team is sort of turned towards him, as if expecting something. [It’s not usual that their boss’ boss’ boss walks in while they’re having breakfast].

“I was, uh, I was looking for Sullivan,” he says by way of explanation, hands on his hips. “I figured he’d be in here for breakfast,” he says, glancing at her.

“He doesn’t eat with us, Chief,” Andy says matter of factly. Lucas raises his eyebrows as Vic shakes her head at him.

“No?” he asks, surprised.

“No,” Vic quips, still eating her muffin and trying very hard not to say something she shouldn’t say to him in front of her teammates.

“Huh,” Lucas hums, “okay, thank you all. I’ll, uh, try his office,” he starts walking away, then turns to them. “Oh, and Bishop, I was pleased to see your lieutenant application come through. Looking forward to our interview!” he says and it’s Vic’s turn to look at him in surprise. Shock is written all over everyone else’s faces. She knew he thought Bishop should be pushed to a leadership position - lieutenant most likely - but hadn’t actually thought she’d applied, and wondered if he told her to do so. Maya’s straightens her stance, though she continues to make her coffee, her back to them, as if not wanting to face the rest of them, or more specifically, Andy.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” she says and Vic watches Lucas leave. _Even his back is nice,_ she thinks.

“Wow,” Gibson quips, trying to voice everyone’s shock. Vic snaps her attention to Maya and hopes Andy didn’t notice her check Lucas out. Not, that Andy did, since she was clearly still trying to process the information she’d just received.

Maya turns to them.

“Low-key throwing your hat in the ring, Bishop. I like it,” Gibson quips and Vic rolls her eyes. Clearly, this will be just another competition between the two of them.

“It’s nothing,” Maya says. “I just applied for a lieutenant’s position. That’s it,” she says while adding milk to her coffee. Vic rolls her eyes.

“It’s not nothing,” Andy finally says, looking right at her best friend.

“It’s just an application,” Maya says casually, still making her coffee.

“Application and an interview,” Vic quips, grabbing another muffin.

“This is a big deal,” Andy says, finally having processed. “I mean, I’m in your bathroom oversharing every morning and y-you kept something this big a secret?” she asks, still fairly shocked.

“It’s not a secret,” Maya retorts. “It’s just one application. That’s it. And, I didn’t mention it because I don’t want to talk about it yet,” she snaps before storming off.  

Vic thinks of Lucas all through breakfast, and then as she helps Andy and Travis with chores. She’s walking towards the one of the storage rooms when she sees him, exiting Sullivan’s office, a frown plastered on his face.

“Hey,” she says softly and he immediately looks up, smiling, though it seems a little forced.

“Hey,” he greets back.

“I didn’t know you were coming to our station today,” she quips casually as she starts restocking supplies.

“I hope I didn’t ambush you,” he says.

“Nah, don’t worry. Herrera’s the one who got ambushed,” she looks up to meet his gaze. “Bishop didn’t tell anyone about the lieutenant application and Herrera’s her best friend, so you know…” she trails off, and he nods.

“Yeah, I understand,” he seems slightly amused. Vic smiles at him, and their gazes lock for longer than a second, not for the first time.

“Uh, I should- I should let you get back to you chores,” he sighs, resting his hands on his hips.

“Yeah,” she curls her lips into a smile. “Are you- are you leaving now?”

“Nah, I’m going to stick around a bit. Watch some of the training,” he shrugs.

“Oh,” she hesitates, biting her lip. “Are you okay?” she asks softly because ever since he’d walked into the Beanery she’d noticed a tense, somber look about him that was even more noticeable now.

“Yeah, of course,” he shakes his head. “Everything’s fine,” he brushes her off.

“Okey Dokey,” she forces a smile, trying to ignore the flash of hurt she felt. “See you later,” she says, focusing her attention on restocking supplies while he turns to leave, but then stops.

“I’m sorry, I was a little harsh. I just have a lot on my mind today, Vic. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way,” he says and she looks up at him. “I didn’t mean to brush you off. I apologize,” he meets her gaze and Vic feels that swarm of butterflies again as he smiles with his eyes.

“It’s okay, I was being nosy,” she says awkwardly.

“No, you weren’t. You were being nice. I’m sorry,” he says apologetically.

“You’re forgiven,” she says, and flashes him a smile, this time for real. He smiles back, though it’s not his usual full smile, all smiling eyes and everything.

“Well, now I really should let you get back to your chores,” he half turns to leave.

“Yeah, totally,” she smiles at him. “Guess I’ll see you at the training,” she says and mentally kicks herself for the disappointment evident in her tone.

“Yeah, see you out there, Vic,” he says.

“See you, Lucas,” she says, this time more evenly.

* * *

 

The training session with the police is mostly boring. Vic spends a lot of her time staring at Lucas and every now and then she catches him staring back at her and smiling. She doesn’t think that anyone notices it. Andy is too busy ranting about Maya keeping her Lieutenant’s application a secret. Maya and Jack are busy flirting with some police officer which turns into a fun bet for Vic and she doesn’t even know what Dean and Travis are up to.

Most of the training session goes without a hitch until Sullivan loses it and yells at Maya for no apparent reason which gets Andy all riled up and makes her pick a fight with her captain which in turn makes Lucas step in and reprimand Sullivan who ends up leaving the barn, fuming. The rest of the day is somewhat tense and weird and Vic is glad when it’s finally over and the police officers are finally out of the station.

She makes her way into the Beanery to get Dean’s cake and finds Lucas there. He seems deep in thoughts and doesn’t even notice her walking in until she calls his name and he looks up smiling at her but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Are you okay?” she wonders and he nods but she can tell that he is not.

“Nothing to worry about,” he tells her and shrugs.

“Sorry for what happened with Andy and Sullivan. I told you these two are not fond of each other and this has been building and you just witnessed the explosion,” Vic explains and he nods and moves closer to her, putting his mug down on the table.

He just looks at her and smiles and Vic gets those butterflies again.

“I should probably leave. I’ve been at 19 long enough,” he says but doesn’t really seem like he wants to go. He looks at her like he expects her to stop him from leaving and Vic doesn’t want him to go just yet.

“We have chocolate cake, for Dean’s birthday. You are more than welcome to join us, if you want to, that is,” she invites him and hopes that it will make him stay and he nods at her.

“I thought Miller didn’t want to celebrate his birthday?” he asks and Vic chuckles.

“Well, he will just have to deal with us celebrating it anyway,” she shrugs her shoulders and he laughs and it’s an honest laugh that makes Vic happy. She doesn’t like him all moody and sad.

“You know I really like 19. I like the energy here,... and the people.” he confesses and looks into her eyes and Vic’s breath hitches at the intensity of his stare.

“Spice,” she mutters and he furrows his forehead and raises an eyebrow at her, looking somewhat confused but at the same time amused. She think that by now he should be used by her sudden outbursts and babbling.

“What was that?” he wonders and she can feel her cheeks burn. She really shouldn’t be thinking about “spice” right now with him standing so close to her, with those gorgeous blue eyes and that smile.

“Oh, nothing. I- I remembered something that Travis said this morning. It’s nothing, really. Forget that I said anything. Okay?”

“Okay.” He gives her a warm smile and then he is taking the cake and they are walking up to the roof.

They spend the rest of the evening flirting and much to Vic’s surprise nobody seems to notice and if they are, no one is saying anything about it. They eat cake and then decide to go to Joe’s and have a few drinks.

At first, the entire team kind of sticks together, but after a few drinks, they separate.

Travis eventually goes home to Grant - to spice things up - causing Vic to tease him, Andy and Maya decide to do shots together while Miller and Gibson talk over beers. So, it was kind of just her and Lucas in a corner. After a while, her fellow teammates certainly didn’t notice as they were too drunk.

“You okay?” It’s his turn to ask as she sips her cocktail lazily. She looks up, meeting his beautiful blue eyes.

“Yeah, totally,” she says. “Just kind of want to leave,” she glances over at her teammates.

“You want me to walk you home? I don’t really have much of a reason to stick around if you leave,” he rubs his beard.

“Um, sure, yeah that would be nice,” she says. “I’ll just let them know I’m leaving,” she gestures towards the others. He nods.

“I’ll wait for you outside,” he sets his beer on the counter. They exchange another brief look, and she downs the rest of her cocktail, then struts over to her friends. She lets Andy and Maya know she’s leaving, but the two are way too drunk to notice, so she goes over to Miller and Gibson.

“Bye, guys, I’m going home,” she says.

“See you next shift.”

“Bye, Vic,” they says at the same time.

Vic wraps Dean in a side hug. “Happy birthday, Miller,” she says affectionately, and Miller groans.

“Ugh, Vic,” he mutters, though he’s not as annoyed. “Bye!” he pushes her off.

She smiles, waves, and then walks out of the crowded bar. Lucas is waiting for her outside, and she smiles upon seeing him.

“Shall we?” he asks, and Vic notices he seems a lot less tense.

“Yeah, my apartment isn’t far,” she says and begins leading the way, Lucas catching up quickly.

“Is your boyfriend waiting for you?” he asks, and Vic tries to ignore the part of her that thinks he sounds jealous or angry about the idea of her having a boyfriend. [Well, a sort of boyfriend, anyway].

“Nope, he’s working a double shift,” she says. “And, I’ve been thinking about breaking up with him,” she confesses.

“Oh? Why?” he asks curiously.

“Just… it’s not really working out. I’m kind of bored,” she sighs. _And, he’s not you,_ she thinks, but bites hard on her lower lip to prevent herself from actually saying that.

“Oh. That bad?” Lucas quips.

“Well, he’s not bad per se, he’s- I mean, it’s really good… yeah, I’m going to shut up now,” she blushes, cursing her lose tongue. “It’s just the other stuff doesn’t really click, you know?” Lucas nods. “He wants more, but I don’t- I don’t think I’m ready for that, so… better to you know…” she trails off.

“It’s okay, Vic. You don’t have to explain. I understand,” he says, and their fingers almost brush against each other. Vic feels the zap of electricity she’d felt in her kitchen two days before, and knows Lucas did too, but shakes it off.

“And, I’m kind of interested in someone else,” she blurts before mentally kicking herself.

“Oh?” Lucas seems surprised, and their eyes meet for a brief second. They’re standing so close, Vic could kiss him if she leaned in, but she shakes herself off. _Get a grip, Hughes,_ she says to herself. Lucas smiles with his eyes and Vic can practically feel electricity pulsing between them.

“Yeah…” she smiles before continuing to walk.

The rest of the walk is mostly silent, and Vic can’t help but wonder what’s on his mind. He seems distracted, his mind somewhere else, and Vic remembers his mention of Sullivan in the Beanery.

He turns to her then, “Vic, if you want to say something, say it. We are friends after all”

Vic hesitates, biting her lip, “I’m not sure how you’ll react to my question that’s all,” she says cautiously.

“Vic, just ask,” he says kindly, flashing her another one of his quick smiles.

“It’s just… you seemed a little, um, upset and tense today,” she blurts before she can talk herself out of it. Lucas seems to tense up almost immediately, even though both of them continue walking, nearing her apartment building. “And, then, you mentioned Sullivan in the Beanery and… well, I just- did something happen between the two of you?” she continues just as they reach her apartment block. Lucas freezes.

“I’m fine,” he says, though his voice sounds a little choked.

“Lucas,” she whispers softly. “It’s okay,” she reaches out to put her hand on his shoulder in comfort, but stops herself, letting her arm fall at her side.

“I-” he gulps, purses his lips, then continues. “I’ve known Sullivan since the Fire Academy. He- we used to be best friends, but we had a falling out fifteen years ago,” he says finally, and runs a hand through his hair.

“Oh,” Vic hesitates to pry. “Do you- do you want to talk about it?” she asks gently, and Lucas finally snaps his eyes over to meet her gaze. “I- I’m sorry, that was too nosy!” she says quickly. “I shouldn’t have- I shouldn’t have pried. I’m sorry. You don’t- you don’t have to say anything,” she looks down, biting her lip.

“I- I don’t normally talk about it,” he says, causing her to look up. “And, it concerns Sullivan more than it concerns me, and-” he looks down.

“Do you want to come up and talk about it? I still have ice cream, I can whip up two sundaes with the whole shebang in no time,” she says, trying to smile at him, though the somber atmosphere is rubbing off on her, too. “Though, it might be a bad idea to eat ice cream after having chocolate cake-”

“Sundaes with the whole shebang sound great,” he says instead.

“Okay,” she says, and unlocks the door of the building, before leading the way up to her apartment.

They both take off their shoes and jackets once they enter, and drop their bags in the hallway before he follows her into the kitchen. He sits at her kitchen island, rolling up his sleeves and removes his tie.

Vic busies herself by making the sundaes while Lucas just watches her in silence. [With anyone of her other friends she might pry, but with Lucas she’s a little more hesitant]. She sets the bowls and spoons on the kitchen island and joins him, meeting his gaze not for the first time. [Lucas seems to realize that she’s expecting him to say something, but he doesn’t].

They start eating in silence, and it’s tense, and Vic kind of hates how tense it is. She hadn’t been this tense around him in a long time, and she’d gotten used to them being at ease with each other. She’s about to tell him that he doesn’t have to say anything when he finally looks up from his bowl and speaks up.

“Sullivan and I used to be best friends fifteen years ago until his wife died,” he says and Vic freezes. “Today was the anniversary of her death.”

“Oh,” she says softly. “What happened?” she asks because she doesn’t think he’ll say anything more.

“Yeah. We… uh… we got called to the scene of this accident. We were on Aid Car that day, and- Pruitt Herrera was captain of nineteen back then and he and his crew were dealing with this tanker that had rolled over and was about to explode, so he sent Sully and I to deal with two civilians. And, then, Sullivan realized that the other car involved in the accident was his wife’s car and we found her collapsed on the side of the road. Major crush injuries, her heart had stopped. The other civilian had started CPR, but Sullivan pulled him off. I, uh, I started protocol, though Sullivan wanted to just administer epi. We argued, and I pulled him off because he was- I mean, it was his wife, he was too close to the call and couldn’t be objective. He wouldn’t- Captain Herrera had to pull him off and send him with the other victim. I started the protocol, tried shocking her but she was in V-fib, and-” he pauses and Vic notices the faraway look in his eyes. She reaches to squeeze his hand in comfort, but he drops his hand underneath the table. “-I radioed for another pair of hands and we took her to the Aid Car. Sullivan was driving. She- we never got her rhythm back and we must have been performing CPR and delivering shocks with the AED for so long- I…” he trails off, voice thick with emotion. “I wanted to give her amiodarone to buy her enough time to get her to the hospital. I knew her heart needed a restart and protocol- Sullivan told me not to give her amiodarone because she had an iodine allergy and amiodarone was made from it. He begged me not to give it to her because it might kill her and the hospital could save her. I knew that if she was already gone, the hospital wouldn’t be able to, so I didn’t listen to him. I decided to risk it and told him that the call was mine because he was too close to the case,” he says, and pauses, looking away. Vic sees him wipes his thumb under his eyes and realizes that he was wiping away a stray tear. Her heart aches as she listens to him and she desperately wants to comfort him, but knows that he needs to get through it.

“Lucas, it’s okay, you don’t have to, I understand that it’s hard for you,” she says softly.

Lucas looks back at her, though he keeps his gaze trained on his bowl. “I’m fine,” he mutters. “I did everything I could, but even with the amiodarone… there was nothing the hospital could do. She died and it was my fault,” he says, and his voice breaks. He drops his spoon into the bowl, and it makes a clattering sound, before he gets up. “I should- I should go… I- thanks a lot for listening, Vic. I should go,” he says, turning to leave. Vic hops down from the barstool.

“Wait,” she says, walking over to him. “Wait, Lucas,” she says, more softly this time. “It wasn’t your fault, you have to know that. You did everything according to protocol- it- it wasn’t your fault,” she says, and this time, she reaches to grab his hand, squeezing in comfort.

“Yes it was. Sullivan blamed me- he still blames me and he’s right. It was absolutely my fault,” he shakes his head. When Vic meets his gaze, she sees that his eyes are red-rimmed. “I blame me,” he whispers. “I can’t- I can’t forgive myself for it,” he confesses.

Vic doesn’t quite know what prompts her to do what she does next, but as she wraps her arms around him, she doesn’t really care. All she cares about is comforting him, because she doesn’t think she’d ever heard him this hurt, this broken, even at the peer support group. Lucas doesn’t respond at first, and just sort of stands there, still.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers into his ear as she presses her body closer to his. And, then, Lucas finally responds, wrapping his own arms around her, and takes a deep, shuddering breath, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Vic rubs his back gently as he continues to breathe in and out, until his breaths finally become more even.

They stand like this for a while, arms wrapped around each other, neither wanting to let go. Eventually, and reluctantly, Lucas pulls away, and meets her gaze.

“Thank you,” he breathes, and Vic can hear the gratitude evident in his tone.

“No problem, Lucas. What are friends for?” she smiles at him.

“You have no idea how much this helped, Vic. I… I’ve never talked about what happened to anyone and it really helped to talk about it with you,” he flashes her a grateful smile.

“Of course,” she says, beaming at him.

“Anyways, I should… I should go. It’s getting really late,” he says and Vic glances over at her watch to find that it’s well past 0100. “Thanks again,” he says as he grabs his jacket and bag, and puts on his boots.

“Of course. Like I said, what are friends for?” she says. He smiles at her.

“You’re amazing, Victoria,” he says, and she can feel herself blush. [Vic had never really held much love for her full name, but the way it rolls off Lucas’ tongue makes her stomach swarm with butterflies].

“Have a good rest of your night, Lucas,” she says as he’s almost at the door.

“You too, Vic,” he says.

This time there’s no awkwardness when they share another brief hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Bye.”

“Bye,” she says as she closes the door behind him, though the feel of him surrounds her, and she can still smell him.


	4. Hypothetical Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vic has a talk with Jack that helps her figure out what to do with Mayhorn. Unfortunately, things don't go quite like she hoped. A surprising person lends a hand and Vic invites Lucas for sundaes with the whole shebang again.

She’d spent her days off with Travis or the girls, but did accept David’s dinner invitation which ended with them back at her place.

Vic sauntered - swaggered - into the Beanery the next morning, but her mind was nowhere near Mayhorn. Her mind was on Lucas like it always was and how hurt he’d been when he told her about his history with Sullivan after their last shift. [She contemplated going to another support group meeting to see him, but wondered if it would seem stalkerish of her, and decided against it].

“Okay, rewind,” Dean broke her out of her thoughts and she turned to him as she started making her coffee. Travis was telling the guys about him and Grant and their newfound spice, and Vic rolled her eyes. [She’d heard all about it when she’d hung out with Travis during their days off].

“What?” she asked Dean.

“Back it up and come back in again ‘cause I’m pretty sure I just spotted some swagger!” he exclaimed. “Is that what I’m seeing?”

“No,” Vic cut in.

“Do you have the swagger this morning?”

“No. Nope. Nope. No swagger,” she shook her head before going over to a rather sulking Warren.

She had breakfast with the guys and was thankful when most of the conversation revolved around Travis and Grant and Dean.

Sullivan calls for line up and decides that it’s a great day to clean the station. _Make it spotless_ in his words.

Vic joins Gibson, who is grumbling about the stairs being disgusting. _When are they not?_ Vic rolls her eyes.

“Um, Gibson?” she checks, biting her lip.

“Yeah?” he looks up.

“I need your advice,” Vic decides to just go with it. “Your perspective on something.”

“Okay, shoot. I dispense excellent advice,” he quips. “You know, people underestimate that about me.” Vic rolls her eyes.

“So what if, in a hypothetical situation, you had a friend who was becoming more than a friend, but being with them could be really complicated. And, you’re already with someone but you’re not that into it?” she blurts before she can talk herself out of it.

“Oh,” Jack frowns. “That kind of advice,” he seems to think about it. “Well, if you’re not really into a relationship, you need to tell the other person. Because they might be catching feelings for you and then things will get really messy,” he says.

“But, if you have feelings for someone else and they have feelings for you-”

“I wasn’t talking about me,” she interrupts him. “This is a hypothetical situation,” she explains.

“Oh, right. So, sounds like Hypothetical-You should tell Mr Hypothetical about those hypothetical feelings. Things might not be as complicated as they seem,” Jack tells her. “Hypothetically speaking,” he adds.

Vic’s about to add something when a call for the engine comes through. It’s her, Gibson and Sullivan.

* * *

Vic breathes through the oxygen mask, leaning against the back of 42’s Aid Car while Sullivan and Gibson finish reloading the engine. She decides to call Mayhorn when she, Jack and Sullivan get back to the station to break up with him. _Gibson was right,_ she thinks. _If you aren’t into it, you aren’t into it._ Just as she’s about to sit up, she hears her name being called.

“Vic!” She looks up to find Mayhorn running towards her and notices that 23 had just arrived on the scene, probably for overhaul.

“Hey,” she says casually.

“Are you okay?” Mayhorn asks next, his eyes looking worriedly at her.

“Yeah, of course. That was fun,” she grins at him.

“Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry,” she gets up from the Aid Car, putting the O2 mask away just as two firefighters from 42 bring a victim towards their Aid Car.

“All good, Hughes?” one of them asks. “Mayhorn,” he adds.  

“Yup, all good, thanks, Cook,” she smiles at him and helps them load their victim. She turns to Mayhorn as the two of them start walking towards 19’s engine. Mayhorn rambles about how the only thing 23 seems to be doing is overhaul, but Vic’s thoughts are as usual somewhere else.

“So, um, do you wanna grab dinner after shift?” he says, causing Vic to turn to him.

“Okay, so, David, actually we need to, uh, talk,” she hesitates, but he nods.

“What about, babe?” he asks so casually, the word simply slipping out of his mouth.

“You gotta stop that,” she says, pulling him behind 23’s engine. “Just because we’ve been spending a lot of time together doesn’t mean you get to call me that,” she whisper-yells heatedly.

“Oh,” David looks at her dumbly. “Sorry, forgot for a second there to be professional. We gotta keep being professional at work, but-”

“No, I think all we should be is professional. We should keep it professional from now on,” she says carefully.

“I don’t- I don’t follow…” David looks at her confused.

“I think we should just stay professional and we should stop seeing each other outside of work,” she blurts. “It’s not,” she pauses, inhaling sharply before continuing, “it’s not working for me anymore. This,” she gestures between them. “Us.” Hurt flashes in David’s eyes as he finally seems to understand what Vic is saying.

“Oh,” he says, dumbfounded. “I didn’t- I didn’t know you felt that way, Vic. I thought, I thought we were good. Maybe- maybe we can work on it? Maybe we can- do you want to move in together?” he pleads and Vic is taken aback.

“Move in together? Are you- are you serious?” Vic stares at him, her voice rising slightly, a little stunned. “Look, David, it’s not- it’s not you, it’s me, alright? I’m not into this anymore and I don’t want to keep doing this. I’m ending this- whatever it is we’ve been doing,” she says. “I know- I know it’s kinda sudden, but I think this is for the best,” she says, letting out a shaky breath.

“What? Are you serious, Vic? I thought- I thought we had something good, I-”

“I know, but I just-”

“Are you seeing someone now? Did you-” she cuts him off before he can actually say what he’s thinking.

“No! It’s not that. I would never!” Their voices are increasing in volume, so Vic modulates her tone. “I would never do that,” she says more quietly.

“Are you interested in someone else?” he asks then, and something in her eyes must give it away because he continues, “you are! Seriously, Hughes? I thought you were better than this! I thought you- is it another firefighter?” Vic winces. “So, what, now? An unranked firefighter wasn’t good enough? Now you gotta pick someone with rank-”

“David, that’s not what this is! I’m not like that,” she says quietly, a little bit hurt. Tears prickle at the corners of her eyes and Vic squeezes them shut, willing herself not to cry, not to give Mayhorn the satisfaction.

“You’re just another one of those sluts, just sleeping your way up-”

“Mayhorn!” Sullivan’s booming voice interrupts him. “Don’t speak to any one of my firefighters that way or you’ll be in Chief Ripley’s office before you even have time to put on your gear!” Vic glances at her captain to find him glaring sternly at her now ex-sort-of-boyfriend. Mayhorn himself looks thoroughly scared. “Now go help your team with overhaul and if I see you near Hughes or any other female firefighter I’ll do well with my threat!” Mayhorn nods.

“Yes, sir,” he says before turning around and leaving.

Sullivan then turns to her. “Are you okay, Hughes?”

“Yes, sir,” she says, straightening. “Thank you, sir.”

“Let’s get back to the station,” Sullivan orders and moves towards their own engine. Vic hops into the driver’s seat while Gibson is in the back.

Vic keeps glancing at Sullivan and after a few minutes he finally reacts.

“Out with it, Hughes! There is obviously something on your mind.”

“Um, I just- I just wanted to say thank you again, sir. You didn’t have to jump in back there. Mayhorn was my problem and not yours.”

“You’re one of my people, so it was my problem and no one gets to talk to women like that. I should report him to Chief Ripley,” Vic panics. That’s the last thing she wants. She doesn’t want Lucas to find out who she was dating.

“Please don’t, sir,” she pleads and Sullivan looks at her curiously.

“I’m sure Lu-Chief Ripley has enough on his plate. I don’t want to be an inconvenience,” she pauses for a moment, looking at Sullivan hoping that he didn’t notice her almost slipping up. “I know you think that I need protection or whatever but I can handle this myself.”

“I didn’t say that you couldn’t. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t and don’t have to. Chief Ripley is there to protect you. I know him and I know that he doesn’t stand for anyone in his department treating women like Mayhorn did. You should just know that you are not alone here. Okay?” Sullivan gives her a smile and she can’t remember ever seeing him smile.

“I know, sir. Thank you again,” Vic takes a deep breath. “I didn’t expect him to be that guy. I know a breakup can hurt but I didn’t expect him to be so mean about it. Why are some guys like that?”

“I wish I could tell you, Hughes. I hope that whoever this other guy is that he is different and will treat you better,” her captain tells her and Vic quickly smiles at him before turning her eyes back on the road.

“He is,” she confirms.

“I also heard the part about rank and while it’s none of my business what you do in your personal life I just want you to know that if I have to I will protect you and not him whoever he may be,” Sullivan tells her and Vic wonders if maybe he did noticed the slipup a moment ago.

“Can I ask what made you...” she quickly glances as him, “you are kinda different today. Not that there was anything wrong with how you were before but you were kinda...” she doesn’t know how to put it without upsetting him.

“A drill sergeant with a heart made of stone?” he finishes and chuckles.

“That’s not what I said or meant, sir. You just seem like you actually want to get to know us. I- I think it’s a good thing. We are a family at 19 and maybe one day you can be a part of it. I think it could be a good thing for all of us,” Vic tells him and he nods.

“I think you are right,” he agrees. “Thanks, Hughes.”

* * *

Once they’re finally at the station, Vic exchanges a nod with Sullivan before going to the bunk area where she finds Jack.

“Hey,” she greets softly. “Gonna turn in early? Catch up on some sleep?” she asks casually as she folds her things.

“Yeah,” Jack shrugs. “I saw 23 was on the scene. You gonna call Man Blanket 23 when he gets back?”

Vic sighs heavily before answering, “there’s no need. I spoke to him at the scene. It’s over,” she shrugs.

“Are you okay?” Jack asks, furrowing his brows.

“Yeah! Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” she smiles brightly at him.

“Are you sure?” Gibson asks, turning to her.

“Of course! Like I said, it’s fine. Whatever,” she shrugs. “Thanks for the advice,” she smiles again.

“So, you gonna call Mr. Hypothetical?” he asks. “You know, if you’re interested in him you should,” he adds, smirking a little.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “I might, but you know, it could complicate things,” she says, her mind drifting back to what Lucas had said about him dating another firefighter. _And, an unranked one at that,_ she thinks bitterly. And, then, her phone rings. “I think Mr. Hypothetical is calling you,” Jack says as he hands her her phone and Vic freezes when she sees the name on the Caller ID. Ripley. [She had his number from when he was their interim captain, but since they’d become friends and gotten closer, she hadn’t actually changed it to something less formal, or less obvious]. _Crap,_ she thinks.

“Um…” she trails off, locking gazes with Gibson.

“Mr. Hypothetical is going to voicemail,” Jack observes. “I don’t know anything,” he shrugs as Vic grabs the phone.

“Hello?” she says breathily as she enters her bunk room.

“Vic?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Just didn’t expect you to be calling me,” she answers.

“Oh, right. Sorry,” his warm voice fills her ear and Vic finds herself smiling despite everything that had happened earlier. “Thought I’d catch you before your shift’s over,” he says.

“Yeah, um, we haven’t really done much today. We just responded to this structure fire and-” she cuts herself off, biting her lip.

“What happened?” he asks, and Vic can hear the worry in his voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, totally. It wasn’t a big fire or anything, 42 just needed some help,” she shrugs, though she knows he can’t see that.

“Ahh, I see,” he says, and Vic can almost hear the smile in his voice. “How’s, uh, how’s Sullivan?”

“He’s good. He didn’t fire Herrera, if you’re wondering,” she says and he chuckles, and Vic thinks it’s the best sound.

“That’s… that’s good,” Lucas hums.

“I broke up with my sort-of-boyfriend,” she blurts then. [Vic isn’t quite sure what exactly compelled her to do so, but maybe it has something to do with Lucas’ kind voice, or with the fact that he’d called her when she’s still trying to process the way Mayhorn had acted]. “At the scene,” she adds quickly.

“Oh?” Lucas sounds surprised, and maybe a little bit relieved, but Vic’s trying not to think too much of it. “What happened?” he asks carefully.

“I was going to call him after the scene, you know? And, then, he was there and I don’t know… I just decided to do it then and there. And, we kind of had a fight about it. A big fight. And…” she trails off, biting her lip. [Vic doesn’t want to tell Lucas about Mayhorn slut shaming her because she doesn’t want him to know who exactly she’d been dating for the past month or so].

“Are you okay?” Lucas asks instead, and Vic can hear the concern in his voice. “Did he… did he hurt you?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says quickly, maybe too quickly. “He didn’t. It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” she shrugs despite the tears in her eyes.

“Of course I’m worried about you,” he says without thinking, and Vic’s heart hammers in her chest. [A tiny part of her wonders if he feels the same or if this is simply friendly concern, but Vic pushes that part to the back of her mind. He obviously doesn’t see her that way. She is his subordinate after all]. “You’re my friend,” he adds gently.

“Yeah, um, thanks,” she sniffles and wipes a stray tear from the corner of her eye. It’s quiet for a while, and Vic wonders if Lucas had hung up, but his voice drifts through the phone.

“Vic? Vic, are you okay?” he asks softly.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she sniffles again. “I just… he didn’t take it well. And, he accused me of something,” she sighs. “Of sleeping my way through the department,” she finally says. There’s a pregnant pause. [Vic can practically see Lucas rub his beard thoughtfully].

“Do you want to report him?” he asks then and Vic shakes her head before realizing he can’t see that.

“No, it’s not- it’s not worth it, but thanks,” she lets out a soft sigh.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Lucas, thanks,” she says. She hesitates.

“What is it?” he asks softly.

“You know, I’m out of… I’m out of ice-cream. But, I was going to go buy some after shift. Are you- would you like some?” she suggests, biting her lip. The first time they’d had sundaes had been after they’d bumped into each other at the grocery store. The second time had been after last shift when Lucas had been upset about Sullivan. But, they’d never done this. She’d never done this. [Vic hoped she didn’t sound too desperate, but there wasn’t anything else she wanted in that particular moment than Lucas]. She was so screwed. “You know what? You don’t- you don’t have to. Obviously you have a life and no time to sit and eat sundaes with me and my self-pity. It’s fine. I’ll just-” she started rambling, but he cut her off.

“Of course I would, Vic. What time?” he asked and Vic breathed a sigh of relief.

“In the afternoon?” she asked. “I’m probably going to go to breakfast with the team like we always do when we finish shift on Saturday mornings. Unless you’re busy? You can come in the evenin-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon. Around 1400?” he said and Vic smiled.

“Perfect. Thanks a lot, Lucas. See you then,” she smiled.

“See you then, Vic. Have a good rest of your shift,” he says, and Vic knows he’s smiling too. “Take care.”

“I will. Bye,” she says before hanging up. She goes to Lucas’ contact and changes it to Lucas before exiting the bunk room. She finds Andy and Maya lying on the engine’s roof, and joins them.

“Hey,” Maya greets.

“Hey, guys,” she says. “Ooh, Herrera, you’re still here,” she says cheekily. Andy rolls her eyes.

“Hey, Vic,” Andy rolls her eyes.

It must be written all over her face because it’s Maya who asks.

“What happened?” she blurts. “You seem upset.”

“I broke up with Man Blanket 23. At the scene,” she replies with a sigh.

“Oh,” Maya hums. “What happened?”

“I just… I don’t know…” she trails off, hesitating. “I just wasn’t into it anymore. I was going to call him, but 23 was called for overhaul so I just did it there. He didn’t take it well. He called me a slut,” she admits because she had to say it to someone.

“What an ass!” Maya and Andy exclaim at the same time.

“Yeah,” Vic nods just as Sullivan interrupts them.

“Herrera,” he says, leaning over the railing. “Are you ready to talk?” Andy gets up, nodding, and the three of them get off the engine. Vic and Maya join the guys for dinner, but neither of them says anything about Mayhorn. Vic tells Travis later and her best friend offers to beat Mayhorn up. Vic tells him there’s no need.

They have another call after dinner, but manage to get back three hours later and get some sleep. Vic joins her team, sans Sullivan, for breakfast.

Vic was about to start early on the sundaes when Lucas rings the doorbell and she buzzes him in. Barely two minutes later he rings her doorbell and Vic feels a surge of happiness when she opens the door to find him in casual clothes, hair slightly dishevelled, a takeaway bag in his hand.

“Hey,” she greets, beaming.

“Hi,” he smiles, and she ushers him in. “I brought lunch,” he says, gesturing to the bag in his hand. “It’s burgers, though I wasn’t sure what you liked, but well, I thought-”

“That sounds amazing, Lucas!” she exclaims, grabbing the bag from his hand. “You didn’t have to!”

“It’s okay. I haven’t had lunch, and well, I wasn’t sure if you did, so…” he trails off.

“I haven’t. Went rock climbing with Andy and Maya after breakfast,” she answers. “What kind of burgers did you get?”

“One cheeseburger and one chicken burger with, uh, Caesar sauce,” he says, shrugging. “Jennifer likes it, so I thought…” he blushes.

“That sounds great!” she says as she sets the burgers onto plates. “Ooh, curly fries!” she exclaims delighted, causing Lucas to chuckle.

They sit at her table and make pleasant conversation while eating their burgers. Vic tells him about the fire they went to earlier.

“What did you do yesterday?” she asks absentmindedly.

“Paperwork,” Lucas rolls his eyes and Vic chuckles.

“I thought you like your job?” she teases. The corners of Lucas’ lips quirk into a smile.

“I do. Just not so much the paperwork part,” he smiles impishly. “I’m not really much of a sit behind a desk Chief,” he shrugs.

“I see,” Vic nods. “This is really great,” she says as she finishes her burger.

“I’m glad you liked it,” he smiles back.

“So, sundaes?” she suggests.

“You know, I try to lead a healthy lifestyle,” he says, though he doesn’t say no. “I’m the Chief and everything.”

“Sure you do,” she rolls her eyes as she dumps the plates into the sink, throws the empty bags and starts preparing the sundaes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Lucas asks once she returns to the table, setting down two bowls in front of them. “About what happened? You seemed really upset on the phone,” he says softly.

“I’m all good. Just gonna eat my sundae,” she deflects.

“Vic, come on,” Lucas sighs. “You were crying on the phone, I’m not an idiot,” he says softly, leaning forward. Their fingertips are barely inches from touching.

“I just didn’t really expect him to react like he did. Like he’s not that type of guy, and it made me feel like it was my fault. I mean, he didn’t do anything wrong- I was just not into it cause I’m interested in someone else- not that I’m that kind of girl, and he just-” she bites her lip.

“Vic, there’s nothing wrong with being interested in someone else,” he sighs. “It’s better than being with someone and leading them on- not that I think you would do that,” he says quickly. “You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t blame his reaction on yourself,” he says softly. “You are great person and you deserve better,” he says softly and Vic averts her gaze, feeling her cheeks redden under his piercing gaze. When she looks up, he’s smiling softly at her, and she feels those butterflies again.

“Thanks, Lucas,” she says. Vic takes both their bowls and dumps them into the sink. She turns to Lucas and glances at her wat seeing it’s already 1815. _Did we really spend more than four hours together?_ she wonders.

“I’d love to stay, but Jennifer invited me to have dinner at her place and I’m on call tonight, so I have to go,” he says and Vic wonders if it’s wishful thinking or if he really does sound regretful about it.

“I get it,” she smiles at him. “Thanks for coming, though. And, for the burgers,” she follows him to the door. He smiles at her with his eyes as he grabs his back and Vic can feel herself melt. She wonders how he would react if she hugged him because she really needs a hug from him.

“Jennifer always says that my hugs help when she is upset,” Lucas suddenly says, surprising Vic. “Maybe it would help you too, if it’s not too...” before he can even finish the sentence, she is already in his arms hugging him. His arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to him so their bodies are pressed together with no room left between them.

They stay like that for a moment, neither letting go, his hands rubbing her back, giving her comfort like a friend would. Vic wishes they could stay in this moment forever, wishes that he saw her as more than just a friend but at the same time thinks that it’s probably safer and less complicated with them as just friends. Vic doesn’t want to let go and neither does he.

“Thank you,” she mumbles against his neck and she feels his arms hug her just a bit tighter before he reluctantly lets go of her.

“Have a good night, Vic. Call me if you need to talk. You know I’m here for you.”

“Thank you, Luke. Your sister is right, the hug really helped,” she beams at him and he smiles back before turning around and leaving.

Vic closes the door and leans against it, thinking that she is in big trouble because she has feelings for her boss that she shouldn’t be having. _This is going to be messy_ , she thinks to herself.


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The windstorm leads to some revelations between Lucas and Vic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but enjoy!

Warren has the idea to spend the windstorm by gathering at the houseboat to celebrate Friendsgiving. [Vic has the tiny urge to ditch and invite Lucas for sundaes and a movie, but changes her mind]. Unfortunately, they don’t even get started on Miller’s margaritas because Sullivan calls them in when B-shift gets stranded.

“Captain, we know windstorm protocol,” Andy complains as they line up.

“Quick review never hurts,” a voice says, and Vic’ breath hitches as she looks up to find Lucas standing there in front of them. For a second, his blue eyes flicker over to hers, and Vic’s lips curl into a smile and she feels those butterflies again. Jack flashes her a sideways glance, but Vic shakes her head and snaps her gaze back to Lucas who is studiously avoiding her gaze. “High winds mean fires can ignite and spread exponentially faster than under normal circumstances,” he continues, hands on his hips. “We’re already getting multiple reports of downed trees and power lines. Your priority is to keep yourselves safe. Pack up extra gear, extra tanks, extra everything. It’s going to be a long one,” he claps his hands together. “The storm’s just getting started.” He flashes them all another smile and they scramble to pack up more supplies onto the rigs.

“Are you with us all day, sir?” Andy pipes up and Vic hesitates for a second.

“For the time being, yes. I’m checking on all high-call areas today,” Lucas replies casually. As they continue packing up, Andy encourages Maya to show Ripley what she’s got. [Vic likes seeing this encouraging, cheerleader side of Andy and she’s glad she and Maya didn’t get into a big fight after Maya’s lieutenant application came out]. An Aid Car call comes through, and Lucas tells Maya and Jack they’re up, but Sullivan decides to take the call himself. Lucas flashes Sullivan a look, then his eyes drift over to her and Vic can see a small trace of guilt in his gaze. She flashes him a comforting smile when no one’s looking. Andy decides to switch with Maya, so Maya can stay and impress Lucas and Vic watches as she and Sullivan head out. The rest of them scramble, Warren and Travis going to help Grant in the kitchen while Vic goes to the turnout room to restock halligans.

“Hey,” he says softly as he enters the turnout room minutes after she does, and Vic looks up.

“Hi,” she breathes out, trying to sound casual. [She knows she’s not doing a very good job of it, but she can’t really express whatever she’s feeling when she’s around him. Mostly because she doesn’t even know the answer to that herself].

“How are you?” he asks, flashing her that warm smile of his and Vic feels herself warm under his gaze.

“I’m good. Great, actually. You?” she asks, trying maybe a little too hard to sound chipper. Lucas chuckles.

“I’m good, too. You know, I’m only here at 19 because of the location,” he says, trying to sound casual, and at that Vic finally looks up to meet his gaze properly.

“Yeah, of course. Just doing your job. Obviously,” she beams at him as she continues to hoist halligans onto the rack. “Seeing me is just the icing on the cake, right?” she flirts.

“I’m always happy to see you,” Lucas says, smiling at her, and this time it’s a real smile. It’s her favorite smile, smiling with his eyes and everything, making butterflies swarm in her stomach. Vic just smiles at him, amused.

“I’m happy to see you, too,” she says just as Gibson comes in, his eyes drifting curiously between them.

“Hughes, we stocked on halligans or do we need more?” he asks her before glancing briefly at Lucas. “Chief,” he greets him.

“Gibson,” Lucas greets the lieutenant.

“We’re all good on the halligans so far,” she answers Jack’s question.

“Cool.”

“Well, I’ll let you get back to it,” Lucas says and walks past Jack, nodding at the both of them.

After she’s done restocking halligans, Vic joins Warren on restocking one of the rigs just as the alarm rings for both the ladder and the engine.

“Warren, you and Montgomery are on the ladder with Miller,” Jack announced and Vic turned to face him.

“Puts me on the engine with you?”

“Uh, no, actually. I’m gonna stay here and hold down the fort. Ripley said I have to,” Jack doesn’t look too happy about that and Vic flashes him a small smile.

“So who am I riding with?” she asks just as the rest of the team rush into the Barn. Miller and Montgomery hop into the ladder truck along with Warren as Maya and Lucas hop into the engine.

“You’re on engine,” Jack says simply before turning around. [Vic isn’t sure if she should be thrilled or not].

Maya spends most of the drive buttering up to Lucas, complimenting him on his leadership style.

“It’s admirable,” the blonde says and Vic smirks.

“Thank you, Bishop,” Lucas says.

“Yeah, I agree, and thank you for riding with us, Chief,” Vic pipes up. “Especially us. Super unexpected.” Lucas chuckles and looks back at her. Vic smirks at him.

“If I’m asking my team to get their hands dirty, I should too,” Lucas smirks back.

“You know, it’s a style I hope to emulate as a lieutenant, and I try to, in fact,” Maya says with a grin. “Right, Hughes?” she asks offhandedly.

Vic’s so zoned out, the only thing she manages to say is, “-dirty. Yeah. Totally.”

“Wait, what?”

“What?”

“Hey, hey! Watch out! Tree down up ahead!” Lucas says to grab their attention, in particular Maya’s who is driving, and she slams hard on the brakes.

“There’s no getting around this thing! We’re stuck!” Miller says as the crew assembles in front of the trucks.

“No time to waste!” Lucas tells them calmly, his voice louder to be heard over the wind. “I’ll break up the trunk. Bishop, head up a team to get to the victim on foot!” he orders.

“On it, sir! Montgomery, Miller, Warren, gear up and start running!” she orders them and they spring into action.

“I got the jump bag,” Warren pipes up.

“Man, I wanted to chainsaw,” Miller complains.

“Yeah, everyone wants to chainsaw, Miller! Maybe next time!” Maya retorts, and then they’re off, running towards the victim. Vic turns to Lucas, flashing him a wry grin.

“So, guess it’s just you and me with the chainsaw, huh?” Lucas just chuckles. “So, let’s do this,” she grabs a chainsaw and he smirks.

“Let’s do this.”

“You always say you like your job, Chief,” she flirts and notices his blue eyes twinkle.

“Nothing wrong with liking the job. Right, Hughes?” he flirts back, smirking at her.

“Absolutely.”

They start breaking up the trunk and Vic can feel her heart race with the thrill of it, and of him being so close to her, their movements completely in sync.

After a while, Vic turns to Lucas, “I know we’re working right now, but I love having chainsaw power in my hands!” Lucas smirks at her.

“Nothing wrong with loving the job,” he teases her and she laughs. “Professionally.”

“I think I’m ready to professionally kick this tree’s ass,” she flirts.

“I think I’m ready to professionally kick it with you,” he flirts back, flashing her a cocky smirk. “Ready for more?”

“Hell yeah,” she turns back to the trunk, but just as she’s about to turn her chainsaw back on, she smells smoke. “Hang on,” she says as Lucas is about to turn on his own chainsaw. “Do you smell that? That smell like smoke?” Lucas nods just as Maya comes running towards them.

“We need to go! There’s a fire in the house! Let’s go!” she screams.

“Yeah, okay,” Vic says breathlessly as they all hop into the engine, Vic taking the driver’s seat this time. Warren radioes them to tell them he has no exit, and Vic accelerates. Lucas flashes her a concerned look as she turns towards the house.

“Warren, just hang on!” Maya radioes back. “We’re here! We have bottles!”

Vic and Maya rush into the house to help Warren and they manage to help get him and an unconscious Ruth out.

They manage to get the victims to Seattle Presbyterian since Grey Sloan is also dealing with the windstorm, but Lucas grounds SFD, so they just get back to the station afterwards just in time for Friendsgiving dinner.

* * *

“Hey, sorry I wasn’t too enthusiastic about your Friendsgiving today,” Miller tells Warren as they set the table. “It wasn’t about you. I just can’t remember a family gathering where I didn’t make my margaritas.” Vic chuckles as they start discussing how margaritas pair with turkey, and zones out of the conversation as she helps Maya and Travis bring the food out.

“This looks amazing, Grant,” Maya compliments as she sits beside Vic.

“Should we wait for everybody?” Travis wonders as Vic’s mind, inevitably, drifts to Lucas.

“No, no. Eat now when it’s ready,” Grant urges and they all dig in, passing food around the table. Vic turns when she hears the door open and she finds Lucas walking in, straightening his shirt. He flashes her a smirk, and Vic smirks back at him, trying not to be too obvious as her eyes drift over his figure, uniform-clad and all.

“Hope you don’t mind if I join,” he says casually. Vic’s lips curl into a small smile and she feels herself warm on the inside and she can feel his blue eyes on her.

“Oh, yeah! No, of course!” the team exclaims in unison.

As he’s about to sit down besides Travis and across from her, he hesitates, “actually, I have something I’d prefer not to keep you any longer.” Vic looks up at him curiously. “It’s not official yet, but, uh after everything we did today together, it feels somehow wrong not to take this opportunity to announce that Maya Bishop will be promoted to lieutenant very soon!” The whole table erupts in cheers, and Vic wraps her arms around Maya in a side hug. “There’s an opening at Station 23,” he adds and everyone’s attention turns to him. “I’ve already put in the word for the transfer. Congratulations, Bishop!” he smiles at them and Vic can see Maya deflate a little. [She has to admit, she’d deflated a little, too. She doesn’t want her family to break up].

They go back to eating, conversation drifting effortlessly around the table.

As she swallows another fork full of gravy, Vic notices Warren check his phone worriedly, “hey, Warren, you good?”

“It’s driving me crazy that I can’t check in with Miranda,” he answers, irritation and worry evident in his tone.

“I tried calling Andy earlier, too, but it just went to voicemail,” Maya pipes up and Vic flashes her a comforting smile.

“She’ll check in when they get to a landline,” Travis says kindly, flashing Maya a comforting smile.

“Yeah, nobody’s got any signal right now,” Vic pipes up. “But, Bishop, you made lieutenant,” she chuckles. “Savor it. Fall into the warm embrace of these mashed potatoes,” she singsongs.

“Mm-hmm,” Maya mutters, looking down. “I made lieutenant. At station 23. The people there are...” she trails off.

“The worst-”

“Meatheads-”

“Unshowered,” Warren, Miller and Travis all cut in. Maya chuckles and looks unappreciative at all of them.

“Thanks, guys. Thanks. Thanks, a lot,” Maya says sarcastically.

“They are,” Vic pipes up. Maya quirks an eyebrow.

“I mean, you have actual knowledge about 23,” Maya turns to her, and Vic freezes as her gaze flickers to Lucas who is looking between her and Maya across the table. “Dish please.”

“Nothing to dish,” she shakes her head. [Vic knows where this is going and she definitely doesn’t want to have this conversation]. She looks at Maya, feigning confusion and shaking her head slightly, hoping her friend will understand.

“You were seeing what’s-his-name over there?” Maya says instead, not backing down, eyebrow raised and Vic feels hurt that Maya is trying to do this right now after Vic told her and Andy what had happened with Da- Mayhorn, now at the scene. [He no longer earns David. He’s just Mayhorn from now on].

“Oh, um-” Vic tries to steer the conversation in another direction, but she’s clearly failing.

“-Mayhorn.” Travis, Warren and Miller say in unison, voices teasing and Vic wants the floor to swallow her whole. She averts her gaze, and looks back down at her plate as silence settles at the table.

“You were seeing Mayhorn?” Lucas asks casually, and Vic looks up to find his blue eyes staring right at her, a mixture of anger, surprise and a hint of hurt in them. Vic lets out a soft sigh.

“Seeing is a strong word,” she quips. [There’s a part of her that doesn’t want to admit that Mayhorn had been the first long-term relationship she’d been in in a while, so she just brushes it off].

“Oh, he came into HQ earlier this week. Had to reprimand him. He was referred by a captain for inappropriate behavior earlier this week,” he says, sounding forcefully casual. Vic’s gaze snaps over to him, and it downs on her what he’s talking about and that the captain he’s not mentioning is Sullivan. It also dawns on her that Lucas had realized who her kind-of-boyfriend was and she can see a sliver of hurt in his eyes, but it’s gone as soon as it was there.

“Inappropriate, sir?”Maya asks wearily, glancing at Lucas.

“Yes. He was acting inappropriately towards another firefighter and I reprimanded him. And, that is all I will say on this matter, Bishop,” he nods at Maya, his tone final. “You are well aware, personnel issues shouldn’t be discussed like this,” he tries to flash her a smile, but Vic averts her gaze, hurt flashing in the pit of her stomach.

“Yes, sir,” they all mutter in unison. Vic gulps as everyone continues eating, the atmosphere both boisterous and awkward at the same time. Pruitt joins them, and the conversation then drifts to Jack, but Vic’s mind is elsewhere. Eventually, Lucas’s phone starts ringing and he excuses himself, and Vic manages to relax a bit and makes her way to the pastries on the counter.

“Poor Herrera,” she muses to Travis. “Stuck on Aid Car and missing out on all this confectionary glory,” she smirks.

“Do you want to get married?” Travis blurts, grabbing her attention.

“To you?” she teases, grinning mischievously at him. Travis rolls his eyes.

“Or ever? I mean, are you pro-marriage or anti-marriage? Is being anti-marriage even a real thing?” he asks nervously and Vic realizes this is about Grant.

“Well, marriage isn’t everyone’s endgame,” she shrugs.

“See, I don’t get that,” he retorts. “Being married to Michael was great. Why wouldn’t Grant want that?” Vic lets out a soft sigh. She’s well-aware that this has less to do with Grant and more to do with Michael and the fact that Travis is still hung up on his dead husband, a fact that he won’t admit.

Vic purses her lips instead, “well, there is such a thing as too much too soon,” she tells him, mind drifting back to Mayhorn before she snaps out of it. “Relax. Live in the now. Forget about the later,” she beams at him and claps his shoulder before piling several types of pastries on her plate and making her way over to the table while Travis grabs his boyfriend to talk. Vic focuses her attention back to the others’ conversation.

Eventually, once they’d cleaned up, Vic decides to go look for Lucas and finds him in the captain’s office, the door wide open.

“Come in,” he says distractedly. Vic inhales sharply before closing the door behind her. “What’s-” Lucas cuts himself off when he looks up. Something in her expression must have told him that she’s not there for a friendly chat.

“What was that?” she blurts loudly.

“What do you mean?” he asks, completely nonchalant. It annoys Vic more than it should and she embraces the anger.

“What the hell was that? Why did you tell everyone about Mayhorn getting reprimanded? Why did you even have Mayhorn reprimanded when I didn’t even- why was Mayhorn reprimanded?” Lucas lets out a sigh, hands on his hips.

“Vic, I don’t think we should be having this conversation here,” he says calmly, though there’s a tiny bit of inflection in his tone.

“Really? This is exactly where we should be having this conversation!” she snaps, doing her best not to show the hurt beneath all that anger. “So? Why did you reprimand Mayhorn?”

“We shouldn’t be having this conversation because of who we are,” he tells her and she is confused.

“I thought we’re friends? Why can’t you just tell me the truth?” she urges.

“Because I’m the Chief and you are...” he stops himself.

“I’m what?”

“You are my subordinate and this conversation needs to end,” he can barely get the words out and Vic feels like she has been slapped.

“So that’s how it is? That’s all I am to you?” her heart is breaking into a million pieces. She musters a little more courage and adds, “well, then, this conversation is most definitely over, sir.” She can see it was a low blow, she can see the hurt in his eyes, but she can’t think of that. He takes a step forward, wants to say something but she doesn’t let him, and  instead she storms out of the office.

* * *

He needs some time to gather his thoughts and he knows that she might need some time as well. This is definitely not how he wanted things to go with her. He gives her time to cool off and then he goes looking for her. He finds her in the turnout room. She isn’t really doing anything, it’s more like she is hiding from everyone or well, from him.

He walks into the room and closes the door. For a second he wonders whether he should lock it but decides against it. He doesn’t want her to feel trapped, and he knows he’s walking on ice so thin, it’s practically water.

When she turns around and he sees her eyes are puffy and red, he feels like kicking himself. He made her cry and that is the last thing he ever wanted to do.

“Anything I can do for you, sir?” she asks as she wipes her face and sniffles, her eyes red-rimmed.

“Can we go back to Lucas and Vic?” he knows he has no right to ask this after what had just happened.

“I don’t know, can we? You were the one that called me your subordinate,” she counters.

“I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have said that. You are so much-” he stops for a second because if he does this, if he really goes there, it might change and ruin everything between them and he is scared to lose her. [He would rather just be friends as long as he can have Victoria Hughes in his life than lose her forever].

“I’m what? Just tell me the truth, Lucas. Just be honest with me.” She takes a step towards him and his breath hitches.

“You are so much more than my subordinate. In fact, you are so much more than just my friend,” he finally says, the words spilling out from his mouth, though he keeps his gaze trained on the floor because he doesn’t think he can look at her.

“I don’t understand,” she sounds confused, and he knows without even looking at her she’s biting her lip.

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?” he finally looks at her and watches as she swallows thickly.

“I think you do,” she answers, a small smile playing on her lips as she takes another step forward.

He keeps his hands on his hips although he wants nothing more than to take her in his arms.

“I- I think I have feelings for you,” he finally confesses and he can see her smile widen.

“You think?” she wants to know.

“I know that I have feelings for you. I have for a while but I don’t want to mess this thing up. We are good as friends. We are safe as friends.”

“What if I don’t want to be friends? What if I want more?” she wonders.

“I still am the Chief. This might end badly. This could ruin what we have now. It could ruin our careers and reputations,” he worries as she takes another step forward and is finally standing right in front of him.

“And what if it works out? What if this, us, is meant to be?” she wonders, her voice husky, barely above a whisper.

“Victoria…” he trails off because he doesn’t know how to answer her, because he doesn’t really believe in ‘meant to be’. He sees hurt in her eyes and he wants nothing more than to give in, pull her into his arms, just so he doesn’t have to see the hurt in her eyes anymore. Hurt that he’d caused. “What if it doesn’t? I’m the Chief and you’re… you,” he whispers, his own voice hoarse.

“Well, we won’t know unless we try,” she suggests, her body inches away from his.

“It would be wrong of me,” he attempts, taking a small step back. “I’d be taking advantage.”

“No, it wouldn’t. You wouldn’t be taking advantage because that implies a lack of consent. And, I’m a grown woman standing here consenting. I’m saying yes, Lucas. I’m saying I want more and I know this could end badly, but it could work out. And, I’d rather take that risk,” she says, and finally leans towards him and brushes her lips against his. Lucas responds immediately, kissing her back almost hungrily, his hands flying to rest on her hips as her own hands wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. Vic slips her tongue into his mouth and their tongues tangle together, bodies pressed against each other. And, then, the rational part of his brain returns and he pulls away like he’d been burned. [He can’t touch her]. He sees the hurt in Vic’s eyes, but knows that he has to.

“I’m sorry, Victoria. I can’t. Let’s just… let’s just stay friends. It’s better for the both of us,” he tells her, and he knows he’s lying, but he has no choice.

“It’s not that you can’t. It’s that you won’t because you are scared and I get it. I’m scared too but this is right. This feels so right. I know that you can feel it too,” she says, her voice thick with emotion as she reaches out for him, but he steps back.

“It doesn’t matter what I feel. I- we can’t do this. I’d rather have you as a friend, than not have you in my life at all and this is what we have to do if we want to keep being friends,” he says sadly, and his eyes meet hers, and he does his best to show her how much he actually wants this, how much he wants _her_. Vic takes a step back herself, and he can see her eyes are glassy with unshed tears.

“I see,” she says softly “I know that this is not what you truly want. I know you felt it too when we kissed that this is right, but I understand.” And then, she’s gone and Lucas is left alone in the turnout room.


	6. Opening Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events of the windstorm lead to a confrontation between Vic and Lucas over sundaes and their feelings are brought to the surface.

“Hey, Vic!” she hears someone - Travis - call behind her, and she turns to face him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Travis asks as soon as he sees her and her red-rimmed eyes and the tears that are about to spill from them.

“Nothing,” she says, swiping her fingers underneath her eyes to wipe away the tears. “I’m fine. What’s up?”

“Wait, are you crying?” Travis asks instead, hand touching her shoulder, but Vic steps back.

“I’m fine, Trav. All good. It’s all good. Nothing’s happened. Now, what’s going on?” she can see that Travis wants to say more, but he just shrugs.

“Yeah, uh, Pruitt wants to see us in the Beanery,” he says and Vic nods.

“Okay,” she says, her lips curling into a smirk. “But, uh, you might want to zip up, Freckles,” she says, her expression changing from a frown to a grin as Travis looks at her confused before he looks down at his very much unzipped uniform pants.

“Oh, uh, I-”

“I doubt he wants to see man-bits,” she muses as she starts bounding the stairs to the Beanery.

“Vic!” Travis calls out behind her.

They arrive in the Beanery to find every one cleaning up, and Warren is talking about Miranda and how worried he was because she’d been trapped in an elevator and he didn’t know about it.

“Has it dawned on you that maybe that’s how she feels when you come home from work every day and tell her about all the dangerous things you survived that day?” Miller quips as he’s drying off a plate. She sees Warren swallow thickly as understanding finally dawns on him. Vic shrugs in his direction. The door opens, and everyone turns to find Pruitt entering the Beanery.

“Great, you’re all here. Now, listen up,” he says, his voice taking on that authoritative quality they’d gotten used to when he was captain of station 19.  

“He seems mad,” she hisses to Travis and Maya.

“Why does he seem mad?” Maya quips, flashing her a sideways glance.

“Because I am mad!” Pruitt snaps and they all turn to face him. “Because the firefighters standing in front of me are not the firefighters I raised. The firefighters I raised communicate,” he lectured, and they all stared at him, taken aback. “They have each other’s backs. And, when one of our own shows clear signs of struggling, we help,” he continues, more gently now. “There’s something wrong with Gibson. And, I suspect you all of you have noticed something’s off. Hell, I’ve been here half a day and I could tell you that. A sleep-deprived, troubled firefighter is a liability.” As Pruitt continued, Vic’s mind drifted back to Jack having a nightmare on the engine and waking up asking if anyone had heard his PASS device go off, or his irritated mood lately. “-It’s on us do something about it. Right now,” Pruitt finished and they all nodded.

“So, what do we do, sir?” Vic wondered.

“We should talk to him. All of us,” Maya suggests.

“Like an intervention of sorts?” Miller asks and Vic can see how much this affects him.

“That’s a good start,” Pruitt says, nodding at all of them.

Miller goes to get Jack as the rest of them assemble around the table and the two men return several minutes later, Jack sporting a confused look on his face.

[Vic would have liked to say that the intervention went well, but she would be lying if she did].

“What’s going on?” asks a confused Jack, glancing towards his best friend.

“Just hear us out, okay?” Miller says gently.

“Please, Jack, sit,” Pruitt says, looking carefully at his former right-hand.

“I’m good standing,” Jack says, immediately defensive. “What is this?”

“We’re worried about you,” Dean tries again as he sits down himself, turning to face Jack. Vic sneaks a glance at Jack and lets out a soft sigh. [This was going to take a while].

“Okay, does anyone want to tell me what’s going on?” Jack snaps, crossing his hands over his chest.

“Let’s talk about what’s going on,” Pruitt says gently, taking the lead. “I hear you haven’t been sleeping much-”

“You hear? Who from? You’ve all been talking about me?” Jack bursts, and Vic can see that the anger is just covering the hurt and she mentally kicks herself for not having noticed that something was wrong sooner. She knew everyone did, too.

“We’re worried, that’s all,” Maya says gently, looking towards him. Jack shakes his head, and steps back.

“Oh, you’re worried, Bishop?” he chuckles darkly. “I was joking about you trying to take my job. That- that was a joke,” he half-chuckles again. “But, I don’t need you to be worried about me. And, now you’re trying to tarnish my reputation? Well, the only person you should be worried about is yourself! And, now, you’re all ambushing me over a little irritability?”

“Irritability? Jack, it appears you’re suffering from PTSD!” Pruitt cuts in, and Vic’s gaze snaps back to Jack who flinches, taken aback.

“Who are you to say that? You’re not a doctor!” he snarls. “You know, what I don’t need you. Any of you. Just leave me the fuck alone!” And, with that, he turns around and storms out of the Beanery, leaving the rest of them stunned.

“I’ll, uh, I’ll go check in on Grant,” Travis says, standing up.

“I’m gonna try calling Andy again,” Maya stands up as well.

“I’m gonna go do some inventory. Miller, you coming?” Warren quips, looking pointedly at Miller. Miller just groans.

“Right,” Vic says awkwardly, and stands up, too, as everyone else scrambles off. With a sigh, she exits the Beanery and makes her way to the turnout room where she finds Jack.

“Hey,” she greets him, her voice gentle.

“Now they sent you?” he asks - growls - though he doesn’t turn to face her.

“Nope. I sent me over. To chat. To you, my friend,” she tells him, stepping closer to him.

“I’m fine, Vic,” Jack brushes her off.

“You remember the blue tanker fire we were at? Back when you and Andy were competing for captain?” she asked gently, leaning against one of the racks. Jack merely grunted in response. “When Warren and I were trapped, and-” she cuts herself off, swallows, and continues, “you know that was the first time since I became a firefighter that I got so close to, you know…” she trails off, and feels tears prickle at her eyes.

“Yeah, that was, uh, I’ve felt the same,” Jack finally says, turning to her.

“The skyscraper?” she asks and he nods. “After that, I, uh, I struggled…” she pauses, takes a deep breath, but powers through. “It’s funny, we’re firefighters. When everyone else is running away from fire, we’re the ones supposed to run towards it. Except, after the blue fire all I wanted to do was run in the opposite direction- I would freeze and it used to take everything in me not to…” she pauses to swipe her finger under her eyes.

“I didn’t- I didn’t know that,” Jack says, voice thick with emotion.

“Yeah, I, uh, didn’t want to tell anyone. I was scared that I’d have to- that I’d have to quit. Lose you guys. My family. So, I hid it. But, then, it got too much, and I couldn’t- I couldn’t hide it anymore…” she bites her lip. “I told the others when you and Andy were at the Incinerator.” Jack peers over at her.

“How’d you get over it?”

“Honestly? I don’t know that it’s permanent. Bishop ran drills with me and took me running. Travis took me to his meditation class,” she told him. “But, really, it was facing it that helped. Seeing fire in front of me, and forcing myself to not turn around. I got over it at the skyscraper. But, I don’t know, sometimes, I think that I’m not entirely over it. Like, one day, one call, could bring it all back,” she finishes.

“I was trapped,” Jack says finally and Vic freezes before turning to him. “In that vent. I knew I was dying, and I- and I almost did. And, now, I still feel like I’m there. Trapped. And, I don’t know how…” he trails off and sighs. Vic touches his shoulder gently.

“I go to group therapy. There’s an FD peer support group every week. I go every week or every other week. I don’t even talk all the time. Hardly, actually,” she says with a humorless chuckle. “I just sit and listen sometimes. I think you should try it. Look, Jack, you need help and I- we’re all here for you. But, you need to get help. And, we’ll all always be here for you. Why don’t you come with me to the Beanery? Talk with the others again?” she suggests and notices the skeptical look on Jack’s face.

“I don’t know, Vic…” he sounds unsure, but she pats his shoulder.

“C’mon, it won’t hurt. We’re your family, aren’t we?” she beams at him, and he finally relents, so they leave the turnout room and make their way to the Beanery.

Vic thinks another fight with Jack might start as her idea of ‘talking’ doesn’t quite go over well, but they’re saved from the confrontation by Lucas.

“Everybody, we’ve got communication!” he yells and Vic narrows her gaze when she sees the distress in his expression. “We’re officially ungrounded,” he announces.

“Great! We can finally start taking calls and help the people who actually need help-” Jack starts, but Lucas cuts him off.

“Wait. There’s more. Aid Car 19 never made it to Rainer First Hospital. No one’s heard from them in over an hour. Our first call out is a Search and Rescue for Herrera, Sullivan and their patient. Let’s go!” he orders them and they bound after him, grabbing their turnouts.

“All right, everybody! Gibson, you’re benched from this call-”

“But, sir, I’m your only lieutenant-”

“No you’re not. I’m not arguing with you. You’re benched. Chief’s orders. Bishop, you’re up as lieutenant.”

“Yes, sir. Whatever you need, sir,” Maya says as she puts on her turnout jacket as Gibson brushes roughly past Dean.

“Montgomery, stay with him. Herrera,” he turns to Pruitt as Travis groans and goes after Gibson. “I’m reinstating you as interim captain for Station 19 for this call and if-” he cuts himself off, and Vic can see him swallow thickly. “Now, the Ladder is out of rotation, so you’ll all take the Engine. I’m taking my vehicle and will follow after you.”

“Yes, sir,” Pruitt nods before grabbing his own turnouts. “Alright, everybody stock that thing like it’s an Aid Car. Be prepared for anything,” he orders.

“Copy that,” Warren says and he and Miller start loading medical supplies into the engine.

“Hughes!” Lucas calls out, and Vic stops. “You’re with me. There isn’t enough space in the engine and I need an extra set of hands. Let’s go!” Lucas doesn’t leave any room for argument, so Vic just shrugs and follows after him. Lucas gets into the driver’s seat and motions for Vic to take the passenger’s and silence settles between them. His hands grip the wheel tightly as he follows after the engine.

“Lucas,” Vic says softly after a while. Lucas barely spares her a glance. “Lucas, it’s going to be okay,” she adds, and there’s a part of her that wants to touch him, to take his hand.

“I’m fine. Man the radio, will you?” he grunts and Vic lets out a sigh.

“Are you mad at me?” Lucas doesn’t say anything and Vic lets out an annoyed sigh. “You know, if I recall you’re the one who rejected me after I kissed you, so if anyone should be mad, it should be me,” she says, only a hint of anger in her voice.

“I’m not mad,” Lucas says, his voice gentler than before, though it’s still flat and devoid of emotion. “I’m just-” he cuts himself off, and Vic can hear his voice break. The engine swerves, and Lucas swerves too.

“Lucas, they’re going to be fine. Andy’s smart and Sullivan’s basically indestructible, right? They know how to survive,” she says, her lips curling into a forced smile. Lucas turns to look at her and nods.

“I hope you’re right,” he says softly.

“I know I am,” she quips and switches on the radio. He just flashes her a fond smile.

* * *

It’s the skid marks that point them to the spot from where the Aid Car had rolled over, and they also find a road flare. The rescue is quick, effortless. Andy’s mostly fine except for a concussion, but Sullivan’s paralyzed from the waist down. And, unfortunately, Shannon, their patient didn’t make it.

“Luke,” she hears Sullivan grunt.

“Sully,” Lucas says gently, leaning towards his friend as they carry him onto the stretcher.

“I can’t- I can’t lose this,” he rasps out, his voice thick with emotion.

“Bobby, it’s gonna be okay,” Lucas says softly before glancing over at her. Vic just nods and tries to flash him a comforting smile.

“Not after Claire, I-” Vic flashes Lucas a worried glance as he bends down towards Sullivan.

“Sully, don’t worry about it. You’re gonna be just fine. You’re going to be back fighting fires in no time,” Lucas says gently before nodding at them. They carried Sullivan up the mountain and loaded him into the helicopter before Maya went down to help Andy while Vic and Warren went to help Miller get Shannon’s body.

The medevac takes Andy and Sullivan to Grey Sloan Memorial and another Aid Car takes Shannon’s body while the others return to the Engine and Vic joins Lucas in the Chief’s vehicle. She can see his fingers tremble as they grip the steering wheel, and despite everything, she reaches over and squeezes his hand.

“It’s going to be okay,” she says softly. He turns to look at her and nods.

“Okay,” he manages to say before turning on the ignition.

Andy has a concussion, so Grey Sloan keeps her overnight for observation. Sullivan, on the other hand, was in surgery. Vic stayed in the waiting room with others, visited Andy and stayed with her and Maya until visiting hours were over, and then stayed while Sullivan was in surgery. Eventually, everyone left until it was just her, Lucas and Pruitt and Tanner in the waiting room.

“You want me to drop you off, Mr. Herrera?” Tanner said, standing up. “Vic, you want a lift too?”

“Nah, I’m good. Actually, I have a friend who’s a doctor here. Gonna go chat with him,” she said brightly, forcing a smile. “And, my car’s still at the station, so I’ll get that later.”

“Okay, well, suit yourself,” Pruitt said with a sigh. “Chief, you good?”

“Yeah, gonna wait for Sullivan to be out of surgery,” Lucas said, exhaling as he leaned against the seat.

“Alright. Let me know if you need anything. Hughes, go home and get some rest,” he told them, nodding at both of them as he stood up. “Let’s go, Tanner.” The two of them left and Vic moved from the seat she was previously sitting in to sit closer to Lucas.

“Victoria, we can’t…” he says softly, but Vic ignores him and reaches over to take his hand in her own.

“We’re the only ones here. Besides, I’m not doing anything inappropriate. I’m being your friend,” she says as she rubs her thumb over his knuckles gently. Lucas inhales sharply and she can feel him shudder. “It’s gonna be okay. The doctors here are really good,” she adds.

“Friend who’s a doctor here?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. Vic just shakes her head.

“Yes! Friend!” she exclaims.

“Okay, Hughes. Whatever you say,” he shakes his head just as a doctor enters the waiting area.

“For Captain Sullivan?” she asks and Lucas stands up immediately.

“Yes. Chief Ripley here. I’m the Chief of the Fire Department,” he tells her and she nods.

“Hi, Chief. I’m Dr. Shepherd,” she says softly. They shake hands. “Captain Sullivan is out of surgery and we’re taking him to the ICU now. We had to decompress his spine,” Vic zones out as Dr. Shepherd continues and pulls out her phone to tell everyone that Sullivan’s out of surgery.

“Hughes, I’m going to check in on Sullivan,” Lucas says and she snaps her gaze over to him. “You should go home,” he adds and then he goes after Dr. Shepherd, leaving Vic confused in the waiting room. This was the second time he’d pulled the Chief on her, and for the life of her Vic couldn’t understand what was going on. Eventually, she decides to walk to the station to get her car, but instead of driving home, she drives back to the hospital. It had started to rain and she sees Lucas exit the hospital.

“Hey,” she says softly, and he looks up, his blue eyes meeting hers.

“Hi,” he says, and she notices how his shoulders are slumped, defeated.

“How’s Sullivan?”

“He’s fine. He’ll need a lot of physical therapy, but he’ll be fine. Might have to rearrange a few things at 19, and I haven't even looked at other stations…” he trails off, runs a hand through his hair. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking up on a friend,” she says simply.

“I’m fine, Victoria. You don’t need to check up on me,” he says.

“You up for sundaes?” she asks baldly, even though she knows how this will end. [She shouldn’t be doing this. She shouldn’t be feeding this attraction they have, but maybe it’s pointless because the feelings are there either way].

“Vic, I’m the Chief…” he tries, though she can see that he’s not really putting up much of a fight.

“You’re the one who said we should stay friends. This is our friend thing… sundaes,” she explains, gesturing between them. “See you at my place? In fifteen?” She can see when the reluctance leaves him, when he’s powerless to argue as he nods.

“All right. I’ll see you soon,” he says and they get in their cars.

* * *

Lucas arrives at her apartment barely ten minutes after she does. His hair is dripping slightly and he has a weary, tired look on his face as he stands in front of her door.

“Hey,” she breathes out, relieved. “Come on, in,” she gestures for him to follow her, and he does, more relaxed than he’d been all day. He takes a seat the kitchen island and Vic starts scooping ice-cream into the two bowls. “The whole shebang?” she checks, although she’s pretty sure there’s no need because Lucas always says ‘yes’.

“Yeah, thanks,” he says tiredly.

“So, how’s Sullivan?” she asks as she sets the two bowls on the table and takes a seat herself.

“Thanks,” Lucas mutters as he takes his own bowl. “Sullivan’s fine. I mean, he’ll require a lot of physical therapy and well, he might not be back to full strength for a while, though the doctors think he will,” Lucas answers her honestly. For the first time since she’d known him, since their friendship of sorts had begun, Vic is struck by how old Lucas suddenly looks, the lines on his face suddenly deeper, more obvious. She itches to touch him, to cup his cheek and stroke his beard just like she’d done when she kissed him in the turnout room. She turns, angling her body towards him, and Lucas turns too, his strikingly blue eyes meeting hers. “A lot of firefighters got injured today. Stations were destroyed. I have reports of damaged vehicles. I- it could’ve been worse, but people died. Two firefighters and dozens of civilians. But, it-” she cuts him off.

“It could’ve been worse if you hadn’t grounded SFD. It could’ve been worse if you didn’t take charge of our crew when we went to rescue Herrera and Sullivan. You should give yourself more credit,” she says gently, reaching over to lace her fingers with his.

“Thank you, Victoria,” he says, forcing a small smile. “Couldn’t have done it without the team though,” he adds gently. There’s a pregnant pause and Lucas takes in a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?” he blurts out before he can talk himself out of it.

“Yeah, shoot,” she shrugs, gazing into his very blue eyes. “Friends ask each other stuff,” she smirks.

“I, uh, I overheard you and Gibson. In the turnout room.” Vic freezes and leans back, inhaling sharply. “You were scared of fire?” he asks, voice gentle, soft. Vic swallows thickly and averts her gaze. “Vic, you can talk to me,” he adds, reaching for her, but she pulls back.

“How much did you hear?” she asks, her own voice wavering.

“Only that you were scared of fire. My phone rang and I went to answer it,” he says, a little reluctantly. “Victoria, I… it doesn’t matter what I heard. I just- I want to hear it from you. You’re my friend. I want to get to know you,” he says softly.

“Like you wanted to get to know me about Mayhorn?” she snapped before stopping herself.

“Vic, I- I’m sorry about that,” he says softly and sighs. “Sullivan came to me. Told me Mayhorn made a lewd comment towards you on a scene. So, I reprimanded him and suspended him for a shift-” he explains and she cuts him off.

“Lucas, you didn’t have to do that because of me,” she bursts out, turning to face him. “I didn’t ask you to do that!”

“I didn’t do it because- I didn’t know you and Mayhorn were dating. That he was your kind of boyfriend,” he blurts out and she can see the hurt in his blue eyes. “Of course I was upset that he said what he said to you because you’re you. Because you’re my friend. Because I care about you. But, also because you’re one of my firefighters. Mayhorn had a file. He’d done this before. I didn’t punish him unfairly. But, honestly, Vic you never told me Mayhorn was your boyfriend. You always said he wasn’t really your boyfriend, but he clearly meant something to you because what he said to you made you upset!” he bursts out, the words spilling from his mouth, his voice filled with emotion, his very blue eyes staring deeply into hers.

“Lucas…”

“I care about you, Victoria. You have no idea how much you mean to me. How much you make me feel… for the first time in a long time I…” he trails off, his voice cracking. They’re so close, there’s barely any space between them, their bodies angled towards each other. Vic itches to close the gap, to cup his cheek and brush her lips against his like she’d done in the turnout room, but she knows she can’t because he’s upset. And, then, Lucas closes the gap and presses his lips against hers, his scruff scratching her soft skin. Vic responds immediately, her hands wrapping around his neck, her fingers threading through his blonde curls, pulling him closer towards her. Lucas’ hands go to rest on her hips, his fingers grabbing the hem of her t-shirt as Vic slips her tongue into his mouth, her teeth grazing his lower lip, her back pressed against the counter. Her fingers find the collar of his uniform shirt as his palms rest against the smooth skin of her waist before the rational part of her brain reminds her of the situation at hand. She pulls away and pushes him back. “Vic…” he manages to utter, hurt evident in his blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t- we can’t do this. Not like this,” she reaches out to cup his cheek and Lucas shuts his eyes briefly before opening them to meet hers. “You’re upset because of Mayhorn and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was seeing him. I am. We’ve always been honest with each other, Lucas. I shouldn’t have kept that from you. Just like I shouldn’t have kept my feelings from you. And, we both know we have feelings for each other. And, maybe, one day we’ll find out what those feelings mean. But, it can’t be like this, when we’re arguing because of Mayhorn. That’s not us. That’s not me, anyway. When we decide to be together- if we decide to explore this thing between us, I don’t want it to be because one of us is upset. But, because it’s real, okay?” she says softly, her own voice filled with emotion as she gazes deeply into his eyes, her fingers stroking his beard gently. “I want this. Us. You have no idea how much. But, you’re right. This could end our careers and ruin our friendship. And, I’d rather be your friend and have you in my life, than lose you, Lucas Ripley,” she finishes and she can see that his eyes are filled with tears. She sniffles and feels a stray tear fall down her cheek. Lucas cups her cheek, his thumb wiping away the tear before nodding.

“Okay,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “We’re friends,” he says defeated as Vic reaches towards him, right into his personal space, and brushes her lips against his cheek, kissing him lightly. This time, it’s Lucas who steps back and Vic’s heart aches when he takes several steps and widens the distance between them. “It’s late. I should- I should go. Thank you for the sundaes, Victoria. Get some rest,” he says flatly before making his way towards the door. Vic follows him, watches him grab his bag and put on his puts and jacket. As he’s about to walk away, he stops, his body inches from hers and leans down to press a light kiss to her cheek, his scruff scratching her skin. “Goodnight, Victoria,” he whispers and then, he’s out the door.

“Bye,” she breathes out as as Lucas shuts - slams - the door behind him.


	7. Fusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she hasn't seen Lucas in weeks, Vic decides to take matters in her own hands when an opportunity to see him presents itself. And, their relatioship changes in the exact same place it started when a conversation takes a different turn.

Vic misses Lucas. She misses him a lot especially since she hasn’t seen or talked to him in over the three weeks since he’d slammed the door in her face. She thought she was doing the right thing back when she stopped things from going any further but she wasn’t so sure anymore. They were supposed to be friends, yet he hasn’t bothered to call her and he hasn’t been at the station at all in those three weeks, making her think he was avoiding her. He’d even sent someone else to deliver papers and take care of a few administrative things, but she knew that he had to come to the station for his monthly meeting with the Captain and she is both nervous and excited to see him again.

But as luck would have it she gets called away to a scene right the moment his car pulls into the driveway and she doesn’t even get a glimpse of him because Travis is already speeding out of the barn like a maniac.

When they return two hours later, Lucas is already gone and Vic feels like crying. She wonders whether or not she should call him, wonders if maybe he thinks that she doesn’t want him to contact her anymore, that it’s easier this way. She huffs in frustration and stomps her foot, drawing Travis’ attention to her.

“What is up with you? You have been in a crappy mood for the past few weeks and it’s driving me nuts. I don’t like this version of you,” he complains and Vic glares at him.

“Well, sorry for not smiling and being a ray of sunshine all the damn time,” she snaps sarcastically, before disappearing in her bunk room, slamming the door.

She locks the door, grabs her phone and sits down on the bed. She calls his number and waits for him to pick up but after a couple of rings it goes straight to voicemail. She wonders if he is ignoring her and then she hears the beep and is supposed to leave a message but she has no idea what to say. Should she just hang up and forget about Lucas Ripley altogether? She wonders if that is even possible. She finally decides to leave a message.

“Hi Lucas, it’s me, Vic. Victoria Hughes from Station 19,” she feels like an idiot. “Um, we haven’t seen each other in a while and we also haven’t talked and I was wondering since it’s my day off tomorrow if you are interested in going for a coffee… with me of course. If you have time and want to of course… I’m sure you have a busy schedule so it’s okay if you can’t or don’t want to. I would totally understand after what happened the last time. It’s just that I kinda mi...” there is a beep and her message is cut off and part of her is glad because she was just about to tell him that she misses him.

She drops the phone on the nightstand and settles in her bed to get some rest when it chimes and she picks it up without bothering to look at the display.

“Hey, I was hoping you would call me back,” she answers joyfully.

“Oh-kay?” she hears a male voice say that is definitely not Lucas.

“Oh, Gibson. It’s you,” she says with disappointment in her voice.

“It’s nice to hear your voice, too, Hughes,” he chuckles.

“Sorry, I was just expecting someone else.”

“Obviously. So, can we talk or are you busy?”

“I’m free as a bird. How is therapy going?” she wonders.

“That’s actually why I’m calling. I would like to go to that support group you were talking about a couple of weeks ago. I think it might help,” he tells her and Vic smiles.

“Sure. Do you want me to come with you?” Vic mentally berates herself for thinking about the possibility of seeing Lucas there instead of focusing on Jack wanting to get better.

“I would like that very much.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you tomorrow at 5pm at the Civic Center.”

“Perfect,” he says and Vic thinks there is more. “Um, thank you, Vic. You are being a good friend,” he tells her and it warms Vic’s heart especially since her and Jack are not the closest.

“Of course, Jack. I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a great rest of your night.”

“You, too,” he replies before hanging up.

Vic puts her phone back onto the nightstand and settles yet again in her bed to get some rest.

* * *

Vic doesn’t know what made her put on a dress but she knows that it was a huge mistake the moment Jack spots her and looks at her with a mix of surprise and amusement.

“Hot date?” he teases as she rolls her eyes.

“I just wanted to try out something new.”

“I don’t think I have ever seen you in a dress.”

“Okay, just get it out of your system. Let me have it,” Vic offers. It might make him feel better if he can tease and ridicule her for her dress.

“Actually, I think it looks really nice. You look really nice,” he say genuinely and Vic smiles. “If you weren’t like my little sister I would totally ask you out on a date.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I mean it, Vic. You look beautiful,” he tells her and Vic stands on her tiptoes and gives him a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, Jack,” she smiles at him. “Come on, we don’t wanna be late.”

They walk into the center. The meeting hasn’t started yet. Vic scans the room for Lucas but he isn’t there. Her heart sinks when the meeting starts five minutes later and he still hasn’t showed up.

“Is everything okay?” Jack asks her and she just nods. “You look upset.”

“I’m fine,” she tells him but he looks at her like he doesn’t believe her. “Really, I’m okay. Just listen to what they have to say and forget about me and my moods.”

Twenty minutes into the meeting, Vic hears the door open and close and turns around to see who had entered and she can’t help the smile when she sees Lucas, looking rather handsome in a blue sweater that matches his eyes. He spots her right away and smiles at her somewhat awkwardly before apologizing for being late and sitting down somewhere in the back.

Vic turns her attention back to the person talking, trying to ignore her heart that is beating just a little bit faster since Lucas had walked in.

“Are you nervous?” Jack whispers into her ear.

“What? Why would I be nervous? Don’t be stupid.”

“You’re blushing and you’re fidgeting with your hands,” Jack observes with a shrug.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Vic lies. “You should really stop paying attention to me and listen. It’s important.”

Vic can tell that he wants to say more, but she shushes him and points to the guy in front of them talking about his struggles. Vic kind of zones out during the meeting, not because she’s not interested in what the other firefighters have to say, but because she’s too focused on Lucas and what she’s going to say to him if he takes her up on her offer for coffee. Lucas is the next to get up, and Vic instinctively meets his gaze when he stands in front of the room.

“Hello, everyone,” he greets, smiling softly. “For those who are new, I’m Lucas. I’ve been with Seattle FD for a little over fifteen years and I’ve been through a lot, but I’ve always found it helpful to share experiences with other firefighters because we all understand each other,” he introduces himself before briefly talking about the skyscraper and the windstorm. “I’d like to thank all those who risked their lives during the storm last month as well as countless other times,” he adds, and Vic finds herself smiling slightly as she squeezes Jack’s hand comfortingly. “I see there are a few new faces here. Thank you for joining us. Would any of you like to share their experiences?” he asks, looking expectantly at the group of firefighters. Vic glances over at Gibson in concern, seeing the hesitation on his face.

“You know you don’t have to, but I find it really helpful,” she says softly, angling herself towards him. Jack nods slowly and she squeezes his hand again in reassurance before he gets up, slowly making his way to the front of the room.

“Ah, Gibson, thank you for joining us,” Lucas tells him softly as he shakes his hand before making his way back to his seat while Vic focuses her attention to Gibson who stands awkwardly at the center of the makeshift podium. Vic nods and smiles reassuringly at her teammate and he nods in her direction.

“Um, hi, I’m Jack. Jack Gibson from Station 19. I, uh, one of my teammates told me about this…” he trails off, gesturing around the room. “I, was- I was at that skyscraper incident downtown a few months ago, and I stayed behind to-” she sees him shut his eyes briefly, as if to will the memories away, before he opens them and continues, “I stayed behind to shut the fire doors to help contain the blaze,” he explains, and Vic nods as her own mind drifts back to the events of that night. “I, uh, I ended up trapped in a- in a vent and I could feel the heat… the fire… I was,” he pauses, takes a deep breath, and she nods at him, flashing him another reassuring smile, “... I was cooking in there. I could feel it, and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe,” he says, his voice thick with emotion, “I thought- no, I knew that was it. I was going to die. And then, my- my PASS device went off. I was alone, and all I could hear was that… the beeping sound of the PASS device,” Jack’s voice cracks, and Vic’s breath hitches as she continues to listen intently, suddenly feeling guilty. [That night, she’d been solely focused on Travis because Travis was the one who’d suffered from life-threatening, physical injuries, and she hadn’t even given Jack a thought. She hadn’t thought about him at all once she’d heard that Andy and Maya had rescued him, and she had to admit that she felt guilty about it]. She can see that Jack’s struggling to keep going, but he powers through. “Two of my teammates saved me. They, uh, they disregarded the evacuation order and they saved me. I owe them my life,” he says, and Vic takes the chance to glance back at Lucas, noticing the emotion evident on his face, the unshed tears glistening in his eyes. “I thought- I felt different,” Jack adds. “I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I felt different, and it wasn’t until a week or so later that the nightmares started.” Jack takes a deep breath before describing the nightmares and anger issues, the mood swings, and the flashbacks. When he’s done, the room explodes with applause and Lucas stands, muttering a quick thank you before Jack returns to his seat beside her.

“You did good. Great, actually. I’m proud of you, Jack,” she tells him sincerely, and squeezes his hand.

Jack was one of the last speakers, and after three more sharings, everyone stands and some people leave while others stay to mingle.

“I think I’m gonna head home,” Jack tells her and she smiles. “You?”

“Nah, I’ve got that date, you know,” she answers with a mischievous smirk, though there’s a tiny part of her that worries that Lucas might not accept her invitation. “I’m glad you came, Jack. I’m really proud of you for going up there and sharing. I know it’s not easy, and I hope it helps,” she smiles at him and they walk towards out of the Civic Center and towards Jack’s car. “Let me know if you want to keep coming,” she adds and Jack nods, smiling.

“Will do. Thanks for getting me to come here. I think it helped,” he nods at her. “Thanks for everything, Vic. I’m glad… It’s, uh, it’s nice to be able to talk to someone from the team about it,” he adds, frowning.

“You know you can talk to anyone from the team, Jack. Look, I know that you feel betrayed by Dean. I know that. I know how that feels. After the skyscraper, Travis and I- I was mad at him because he told Warren to let him die, and we had this huge fight. But, then we came here, and we started mending our friendship. Look, Dean cares about you. You’re his best friend. I know you feel betrayed, but cut him a little slack, okay? I’m sure that if you go and talk to him, he’ll listen,” she pats his shoulder reassuringly.

“Yeah, thanks,” he nods at her. He seems a little hesitant, unsure as he opens the door of his car.

“Hey, and if you want to talk, we can grab a coffee or something. Just let me know, you know I’m here for you,” she beams at him.

“Yeah, that- that sounds great. See you,” he tells her and Vic nods before wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Jack seems to freeze for a second before returning the hug, just as tightly, and they rest in the embrace for a few seconds before letting go. She presses a kiss to his cheek before patting his shoulder and shoving him slightly, earning a chuckle from Jack. “Bye, Vic. Have fun on your date,” he tells her as he gets in and she grins.

“Thanks, Gibson. Take care!” she waves at him before making her way back only to find Lucas standing at the entrance of the Civic Center, his gaze trained on the ground.

“Hey,” she greets him, trying not to sound too eager.

“Hey,” he greets her back. “You look nice,” he tells her, though he refuses to meet her gaze. “Gibson, huh?” he blurts and Vic is a little taken aback.

“What? No! Ew, Gibson’s like my brother. God, no,” she says immediately, her eyes widening. When Lucas still doesn’t look up, she steps a little closer to him, and she can feel her heart beat rapidly in her chest as the smell of Lucas’ cologne infiltrates her nostrils. She takes a deep, calming breath, steeling herself. “Are you- are you jealous of Gibson?” she asks bluntly, slightly irritated.

“Nope. And, either way I have no right to be,” Lucas says softly, lifting his eyes to look at her, though he doesn’t meet her gaze.

“You are,” she retorts calmly. “There’s no need, Lucas,” she waves him off. Despite the fact that he’s not really looking at her, she can see that he doesn’t believe her, and she lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m not seeing Gibson nor am I interested in him. Or, anyone else for that matter,” she sighs. “Lucas,” she says softly, but he doesn’t even glance in her direction. “Lucas, look at me. Please,” she pleads with him, her voice barely above a whisper, and finally after what seems like an excruciating minute, but is probably only a few seconds, he lifts his gaze to meet hers and she can see the hurt still clear in his blue eyes.

“You look beautiful. Whoever you have a date with tonight will be very lucky,” he says, self-deprecation clear in his voice.

“Did you even bother to listen to your voicemail?” she wonders.

“What voicemail?” he asks surprised.

“The one I left you last night, asking you out for coffee because you are the one I want to have that date with which makes you the lucky one,” she smirks as she watches his eyes go wide. She can see the reluctance on his face, so she urges, “come on, I just want to grab a coffee and talk. I miss my friend,” she admits and smiles at him.

She watches him as he seems to consider it for a moment before he finally nods and they walk towards the little cafè not far from the Center.

They sit down at a table in the corner and order coffee and some cake.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” she blurts out and he looks up in surprise. “Don’t even try to denying it.”

“I wasn’t going to,” he admits, looking down.

“Oh,” she didn’t quite expect him to admit to it.

“Look, Vic, I needed some time to clear my head and when I’m around you- I can’t do that, ” he lifts his gaze to meet hers, and Vic can feel her heartbeat quicken. “I’m so- what I feel for you,” he pauses, as if trying to gather his thoughts, “what I feel for you is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and I can’t think straight,” he finishes, sighing softly. Their order arrives, and Vic busies herself by taking a sip of her coffee while watching him, waiting for him to continue though it doesn’t seem like he will.

“I don’t- I don’t know what to say to that,” she confesses.

“There is nothing to say. You were right to stop things that night,” he tells her and she shakes her head.

“No, I wasn’t. I made a mistake and now we are both miserable and I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be miserable.”

“Then what do you want?” he wonders.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she watches him as he shakes his head. “I want you. Okay? I just want you,” she declares and his eyes soften.

“You are confusing me,” he chuckles and she laughs.

“I know and I’m sorry but you are no better. We need to stop this game that we’re playing. Either we are all in or...” she hesitates, considering what to say next. “...actually there is no other option. I’m all in.”

Lucas sits back, his gaze not leaving hers, and she can practically see the wheels turning in his head as she continues watching him, waiting for him to give her an answer.

“Victoria…”

“Lucas… say something, please. I- I’m all in. I want to be all in with you and I need to know if you’re…” she trails off and bites her lip. [A part of her doesn’t want to finish that sentence, afraid that he might answer otherwise].

“Victoria,” he repeats, his voice steadier now, “I… I don’t know what to say,” he says finally. “I- of course, I want you, too, but there are risks and there is so much we haven’t- we don’t know,” he sighs, his face unreadable. Vic can feel her heart squeeze painfully as realization dawns on her. She inhales sharply, trying to get ahold of herself.

“Well, we won’t know until we try,” she suggests, almost desperately. “This is complicated, Lucas, I know. I know that. But, we’re miserable without each other and I- I know there are risks, but I want to take those risks. I know we need to figure so many things out, but I want to figure them out with you not someone else,” she reaches across the table to lay her hand on top of his, and he laces his fingers with hers, the gesture so natural it makes Vic’s stomach explode with butterflies. “If you don’t want to do this, I’ll understand. But, I think you do,” she smirks slightly and she can see how conflicted he is, how willing he is to give up. He nods, almost numbly.

“This conversation shouldn’t happen here,” he blurts and Vic frowns, confused. “I told you, I can’t think straight with you… like this,” his gaze drops to their joined hands.

“I see,” she muses, a little too proud of herself. “Do you want to continue this conversation somewhere else?” He nods and pays quickly for both of them before practically dragging her to her feet and leading her out of the cafe. [There’s a small, narrow alley at the back, and Vic wonders briefly if they should continue their conversation there, but shakes her head]. They’re standing so close that if she leaned forward she could kiss him, and her heart races with anticipation and the desire to feel his lips on hers again. “We could go to my place. Conversation could definitely happen there… uninterrupted,” she breathes huskily and she can see the moment Lucas loses the battle.

“Conversation could happen there,” he nods. They walk to her car and she looks at him curiously. “I, uh, didn’t bring my car. It’s close to HQ?” it sounds more like a question and Vic chuckles.

“C’mon,” she motions for him to get in.

Vic is surprised that both of them possess so much self-control that they manage to not give in to their desire in the car and they arrive at her apartment in one piece. She leads him to the door, but he stops just as she’s about to open it.

“Victoria, stop, please,” he says, and she freezes, turning to face him.

“What is it?” she bites her lip.

“I need to know that you’re not just doing this because I- I’m the Chief. I would be- I don’t want to be taking advantage of you. I’m the Chief and you’re… you,” he’s looking at her so intensely, she can feel herself melt under his gaze.

“Trust me, you are most definitely not taking advantage. Taking advantage implies a lack of consent on my part. I’m a grown woman standing here consenting. I’m the definition of consent. I want this. I’m all in,” she breathes out, her voice barely above a whisper. Lucas nods, letting his hand trail to her waist, his fingers rubbing circles on her hips, making her shiver. Somehow she manages to unlock the door, and as soon as the lock clicks, she turns to face him, her heart pounding in her chest as he steps closer to her, his other hand moving to cup her cheek.

“Victoria, yes?” he checks, his own eyes dark with lust, and Vic is touched that he’s being so considerate. [Of course he is. This is Lucas Ripley].

“Yes,” she whispers huskily. “God, Lucas, yes,” she breathes out, her lips inches from his. And then, their lips crash against each other and Vic wraps her arms around his neck instinctively as he keeps his hands resting firmly on her hips.

They stumble a little as they kick off their shoes before moving further into the hallway, their lips still locked, her fingers threading through his hair, his fingers trailing up her back and tangling in her curls.

Reluctantly, they pull away and his hands push her jacket off her shoulders and it falls to the floor as he takes a step back to admire the dress.

“Did you wear that dress for me, today?” he wonders, his voice low.

“I was sure as hell not wearing it for Gibson,” she jokes and he laughs.

“Turn around,” he demands, voice husky and she does as told, her heart racing with anticipation. His fingers find the zipper and he slowly pulls it down, his fingers brushing against her soft skin, making her shiver with delight. It becomes obvious that she isn’t wearing a bra and Lucas steels himself for a moment, wondering if she is wearing panties or if she decided to go commando. He doesn’t have to wait long to find out when the dress slides off her shoulders and joins her jacket on the floor and Victoria Hughes is standing before him in her birthday suit.

“Fuck,” his voice is husky and low, and Vic looks over her shoulder and smirks at him.

“Is there a problem, Chief?” she purrs and Lucas thinks this woman will be the death of him.

Lucas groans before turning her around and pulling her towards him, her naked body pressed against his. There’s a charged moment, and he leans down to brush his lips against hers. Vic responds immediately, deepening the kiss, her tongue slipping into his mouth. Their tongues tangle together as her teeth nip at his lower lip, biting it lightly before licking it slowly with her tongue, causing him to moan.

They’re almost at her bedroom, and Vic’s hands find the hem of his sweater which she pulls off almost agonizingly slowly, causing him to grunt, and revealing a blue t-shirt. The t-shirt, she wastes no time in pulling off. [Patience isn’t often used to describe Victoria Hughes]. As he tangles his fingers in her wild curls yet again, tugging none-too-gently, his lips firm and steady on hers, her hands find his belt and she fumbles slightly with it before letting his pants fall to the floor, leaving him only wearing his socks and boxers. They pull away and she takes his hand in hers, licking her lower lip in delight as she leads him into her bedroom.

Vic takes a moment to let her gaze drift lazily along his body, his defined arms and toned abs that make her mouth water as he pulls off his socks before pulling her back into his strong arms. She lets her hands slide over his chest, down his stomach to the waistband of his boxers before pulling them off. She swallows thickly as she takes him in.

“This is a fantastic idea,” she mutters before tilting her head up and pressing her lips to his, his scruff gently tickling her soft skin. Lucas kisses her back immediately, their tongues tangling together as she pulls him towards the bed.

She turns them and pushes him onto her bed before climbing onto his lap, her lips still on his, before grasping him in her hand and slowly sinking down on him. Lucas grunts and she lets out a breathless gasp as they shift slightly growing more comfortable with the feel of each other. They break away the kiss, both of them breathlessly gasping for air, their foreheads resting against each other, Lucas’ hands cradling her cheeks. They both need a moment and lock gazes, staring deeply into each other’s eyes before he kisses again as she slowly starts to ride him, his hands on resting firmly her hips steadying her.

“You feel amazing,” he whispers against her lips when he pulls away, his forehead still resting against hers as she picks up the pace, starting to move a little faster and harder.

“Right… back… at… you, Lucas...” she gasps breathlessly against his lips as her fingers thread through his blonde hair.

His hands wander from her hips up her back and he tightens his grip on her before flipping them over, causing her to squeal, her arms still wrapped around his neck. Effortlessly, he pins her underneath him, thrusting into her with a bit more force and Vic moans in delight. She loves having him on top of her like this, feeling his entire weight on top of her, being surrounded by the feel of him. In between breathless moans and slow, languid kisses, she tells him how good it feels, how she loves having him inside of her and how she can’t wait to do it over and over again and she knows that it drives him crazy because he is pounding her harder and faster making her toes curl as she moans against his lips telling him that she is close. She begs him to keep going and not stop and then she feels the momentum build, can feel herself reach her climax, and she cries out his name as she comes around him, taking him with her a moment later.

They practically collapse on top of each other, breathless and panting, their bodies covered in sweat, and yet incredibly happy as he peppers her with soft kisses along her jaw, down her neck, down to her collarbone. Their legs are tangled, hers practically wrapped around his hips, but neither seems to mind. Propping himself on one elbow, Lucas gazes deeply into her eyes and smiles, his fingers slowly caressing her face.

“This was amazing,” she finally says and he just nods before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. Ever so gently, he pulls out, rolling off of her and she shifts slightly. He grabs her by the waist and pulls her towards him before curling himself around her, his arms tightly wrapped around her waist, not wanting to let go of her.

Vic snuggles into him as he pulls the covers over their naked bodies and sighs contently.

“You were right, this was a fantastic idea,” he says and chuckles.

“I’m a fountain of fantastic ideas,” she replies before yawning, making him laugh.

“I’m sure you are, but first we sleep,” he kisses her forehead, his scruff tickling hers slightly, and pulls her closer to him before they both fall asleep in each others arms.


End file.
